nnnnrnmimnn >« fliiinKor(i«r«i»«iw»jB » f^iviur*- of •«r b«»i 

rnlllllr' I Nf'jikil "'»»• i:il»loi:iie^ "'nt free. 4ny P1«J, Dlnlouii.^ 
' «»WAl»l 1 flUUU Book, Spwuttei-. Oiil.l''Bi>oli, WiKn unO B«ard»-m 
faci ftnynimit you Whui will be weut by AMES* PUB. CO.. Clyde, Ohio. 



AMES' SERIES OF 

STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA. 



P S 

ZaWdSS 



No. 487 




Uiicle Zeberiah. 



coMi:i)^ -i)i:.\M A 



WITH OAST OF OHARAC/rRRS, RNTRANCHIS AND 

RX1T8, HELATIVR POSITIONS oF TfclK PRRFORMWRa 

ON THE HTAGK, r)P.fi(JRlPtl()N OF (;o8TUMW8 AND 

THW WHOLR OF THR 8TAGR BU8INR.SS ; OARR- 

FULLY MAKKRl) FROM THR MOST AP 

PROVRl) AOTING (!OPY. 



This Book will not be uxcliangoci. 



PRICK 25 (1E> TS. 

CLYDE. OHIO 
AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 



w 



^ 



!^0 gv)udb 




Class ^_S__b.A5^ 
Coipght N" 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSH^ 



-u^-^^fo 



MJnele Zeberiah;4^ 



-OR- 



Just Plain Folks. 

A RURAL COMEDY-DRAMA 

^' IN FOUR ACTS 

— KY — 

EdY/in Weever. i^ 



K^ 



X 



TO WHU'H IS Al>i>l<:i) 

A DRSrRIP^MONOF'PHIOCOS'rUMKS-CAS'l'OF'lUiROHAUAC- 

TEi:s- ENTRANCES AND EX I'lVS -^RELATl \ E POSITIONS 

OF THE IM^:i{l'oKiVlEl{s oN THE srA(iK. AND THE 

WHOLE OE THE STAUE lUJSINESS. 



X 



Entered aocordinff t« act of Oonsfress in tli(» ypar I9()9 !>v 

AMhJS' PVHJISIIIM; ro.. 
in the office oi' Llie Librarian of ('oiigi-Hss aL VV;i^liiiii;Uin. 



AINIKS' PUBLISH IN(^ (!(). 

( I.YDK. t)HIO: 



UXnLK ZEBERTAE /p^^ ^H 
CA^T OF OHAEACrERS.^ ,V^ 
Zkbkutah Hickkhson, Aftiriiii'r. 

.iokw„..on. , (,„„,,„„„,, '"''"''';V.t'- 

MkKKY Dl'NN. S A tl^iiitp. 

RicHAKD l.AYTON Agt. fov Pduice, Rftd d- ( '.». 

Squikk liAKKl.KY. J A ueii^hhor . 

SvDNKY Sh erman. ^ (''"/' dovhlr) A friend of Liytons. 

Mk. PicAia k, \ Of l\ari-e, Heed <t Co. 

Baluy Town kis, \ ,- ^,^^ ,inuhlA ^ •^''"■''' ''""'^• 

Isaac Lovinsky. \ ^'^" '^""^^'^ A polished mnn/fM- 

Txati'^ I , . , A .street waif. 

Sue Lke. [ '"'" """^'^ /'. -• C/nnanuin. 

Aunt MA^ dy. } ,,^^^^ ,.,. Zeberiah's Hxttr-m-Urtr. 

RosK HicKKKsoxN. Zeheriah:.^ daughter. 

Violet La yton Htc/mrd',i mfc 

C'uNftTAHf.E. 

TIME OV Pl.AYlNG—1 h@\ir and 50 minuiu. 
SYNOV'SIS AND PROPERTIES ON LAST PA(JE. 

All Professional Rights Reseryed by the Author. 

Permissit.il \u produce l.his Play must be ol.i;! iimmI I'n.in Tlii* 
Ames' PiiblishingCo., Clyde. O. Tills does not apply to Amateurs. 

COyiUMES. 

Zbberiah.— Gray suit, v>Hiits in boots, li^lit shirt and white <'ollar, gray bald 
wig" and i-liiit wliiskei-s. Act4lli., overcoat, woolen scarf and fnr cap. 

Joe, — Dark suit, v)aMts in boots and straw hat. Act 4th., winter clothes, over* 
coat and i-ap. . 

MiCKET Dunn.— A tra»np ontfit, slouch hat and short stubby full beard. 

Richard —An up-to-date suit, nnistaclie and straw hat. Act ith., overcoat 
nnd stiff hat. 

Squire. —Black Prince Albert suit, felt hat, gray wig and full be.ird. 

Sydney. — Business suit, stiaw liat and ninstaclie. 

Pearce. — Business suit, brown wij>, si<le whiskers and mustache. Act 4th., 
•vercoat aiul hat. 

Baldt.— Checked shirt, old pants in l)oots, blond wi^— whittles stick dnrinj 
act. 

Isaac— Old suit, large nose and full be?u*il— Kliould we.ir glasses. 

Taggs.— Old ragged snitof clothes, shoes and liat. Acts 2iid. and 4th., good 
dark suit. 

Sbe Lee— Chinaman's make-up, blo'iise, sii.ooth face and Chinese wig. 

Mandy.— Dark calico dress and ^(n^liam a pro.,. 

Rachel. — .An old faded calico dress and nj.roii. 

Rose. Travelitigsiiit, parasol and hat. Act lind, Tfhile dress. Act 4., winter 
clothing and wraps. 

Violet. — Dark skirt, white shirt waist, hat, Ui^htwrHpand parasol. Act 4th., 
•winter clothing and wraps. 



©CI,D 174,13'' TMP92-007502 



Xrnele Zt^ beiri a li. 



AOTT. 



.^C/E^iV^. — ^:C^m<*r — HrcKKKSONS <1oor yard—landsru}if barkvir/; get 
kvnse K.; htnxlt, ioa»li-f>a»iii , comb, gins a/td totcl. K. v.: feucf oci'ok:* 
back of stage loifk gafc c; well, bucket of icaler and dip/>fr up i,. c. — 
ZKBb:RiAH disco'cered, as cartaiit nsi'n. leith shaving luug, brunh nnJ 
razor, getting ready to $?t.are. 

Zeberiah. {rails) Baldv! Oh, Ualdv! Wliau in taniaLioii b«* I hat 
boy? (CO lit) lialdy! I say, BaUi\ : B- 

Baldy. {heard off i..) VV^hat yuu wmii V 

Zeb. Bf' y<m hiiohin' up? 

HUdy. {heard off \..) I've jist be^n lakiii<r a basket o' corn to the 
l>ui:.s. I be liciii' to hitch up ri»hl now. 

Zeh. \V;ill. y(tu want to liiirry up. lu'Ciuise I'm iiijjli thruui^h 
sha\ ill. ami I don't W!i.tit to bf late tCr Ihe cars. My little gal will 
!>»• litre to-day, and the ol<i larin will be a di rt'<-i'pii t place. VVhar in 
iai-ii:iii<.ii bf "the towel? {catit) Mandy! Oil. M.tndy! 

Maudy. {heard off K.) What be ye vvajitin'. Zel)? 

Zett. 1 fergot to bring out a towel. Fetch mn onequick asye kin. 

E'uter Mandy.//*?/* ftouxe, k. 

Mandy. VVliy Zeb, I do b'lieve you be clean aouc outen yer head I 
Thar if is right by tlie wjish-pan. (exit k. h:. 

Zeb. Oh. yes. I guess you be right, as ye always are. {laughs) Ha, 
ba, ha! {buxine^is, ichile hiughiiiy, of ht/kiiig around) I say, Mandy I 

Knter Mandy, /Vow h.0u»e, k. 

Mavdy. AVhal is Ihe uiatler now, Zeb. 

Zeb. .Icni iVich uie out the comb, will you. 

Manily. Why Zeb, whatonairth is tlie matter with you anyhow? 
Tht-rt-'s the comb 'tother side o' the wash-pan. If it iiad a liead it 
could bile you. 

Zeb. Bless my soul! I do ijelieve I be a leetle otf to-day, but Rose 
will sot me right when .she conies. 

Entei' Bai<dy, through gate from i.. k. 

Say, Bandy, don't ieririt the new whip, 'cause I want to drive up a 
l>il goin" down. 



U UNCLE ZEBEIilAlI 

Bithhi. AH i-iol,i. Uiiclf' Zt'b. oxi^ tJii-i^ngh gate off h. 

ZeO.' (nilLi) MaiKiy: Oh, Maiidy! 1 Siiy, .MaiiUyl 
Maniiy. {.'leani fnnn house) I be com in*, Zeb. 

Kiittv M ANUY,//'o?/i lioune. 

Zeh. Say. Maiidy, you jist fetch my coat ami liar out while 1 get. 
this tarnation colijjr on. {exit Mandy, into houst) Don'i wear one in 
six months, but 1 liave to spruce up a bit fer Rose — she liives lo ser 
tier old dad look Ivind o' toney. {an(iry) Tarnation take this collar. 
I can't get it fastened no how! {cdU) Mandy! 

Enter M. kUBY , frem house, with hut arid coat. 

Mandy. Bless my soul, Zeb, ain't you got that collar (Ui yet? T 
declare, you're as helpless as a l)aby. Guess I'll have to fix ye. 

Zeb. I reckon you will, old woman. T[ie tarnation thins:- must a 
drawed up last time you washed it. 

Mandy. {fixes collar ) Thar, it's fixed. Now let me help you with 
this coat, and be off quick as ye kin, fer it's half past nine now, and 
the cars git to the station at ten. 

{business of putting on coat aiid brushing hiri^ 

Enter BAhT>Y from i.. through gate. 

Baldy. The bosses be hitched. Uncle Zeb, and I see Joe Wilson 
comin' ilown the road. He's all spruced up and has «iot his boots 
greased, and he looks like a regular dude. Uaayk.-i d/troariously 

Mandy. What on airth is the matter with you, Hiildy.' 

Baldy. 1 guess I know what he is comin' here for. He is sweet 
on Rose. {laughs as before 

Zeb. Well 1 be ready now, and I be off for the station quicker' n a 
streak o' greased lightnin'. {goes to gate 

Entei' Job Wilson, l. e. 

Howdy, Joe. {thiy shake Jiandt 

Joe.' Howdy, Uncle Zeb; howdy folks. 

^- \ Howdv.Joe.howd,: 

Zeb. I be off to meet the little gal, Joe Just make yourself at 
home till we get back, fer you know yer always welcome at the old 
farm. 

^ajiY Zebkuiah, through (/ate off i.. — business icitli horses heard off' stage 
— all characters up .ftage leaving hats, etc. — chorus of " Oood-bye Uncle 
Zeb.'' 

Joe. Guess T am a little early, but I was just on my way to Squire 
Barkleys, and 1 tliought I'd drop in fer a spell. 

(Baldy laughs vpj-oarioudy 
MuJidy. Baldy Towner, stop yer nonsense and git in the house 
and tinisli up tliem chores. Git in plenty of wood and water, fer 
you know you won't dt) nothin' when Rose comes, but stand around 
with your mouth open. 

Baldy. Say, Joe, 1 got my boots greased too. 

{laughs and exits into home 



UycLE ZEBERIAR. S 

Mandy. IMiat boy do l)i'al ;ilt. Well .lop. Diir gal is comin' home 
a lady. It IooIn a siulil (»' money, but Zeb w;i.stlead scH, on givin'ner 
an eddication and niakin' a lady of lier. 

Joe. Annt Mandy. education does not make ladies, and Rose wns 
a little lady \o\\% aftn-e she ever went to a fashionable seminary. 
Why, if she couldn't spell her own name, she weuld still be the 
deart^st leetle gal in all the world to me! 

Mandy. Why Joe, you don't mean it! 

(Richard and Vioi-et appear in hack, unseen by Joe and Mandy 

Joe. Yes, I do AutiL Maiidy, 1 love Rose with all my heart. Why, 
I'd lay down my life for lier, and if she and you and Uncle Zeb are 
Willi ii'. 1 mean to make her my wife some day. 

Mainh/. Well, 1 want to know! Now I alius knowed you liU<^d 
e.ich other, Joe, and it makes me feel real proud to hear you talk. 
Our i:a,l couldn't get a better luisband if she married a i)reacher, but 
you jist come in the house with me, Joe. I smell someihin' burnin', 
and I do believe that boy has put them pertaters on without a speck 
of water. {exit Mandy and ,loio. into honu 

Enter Richakd <iiid Yio\.^'i\J'r(nn \.. e. tlu-0H(jli yiite. 

Hirhard. Was ever anything ><,o fortunate? S'> lie loves l{,use and 
means to make her his wife. Well ! fancy I can place an ob.slacle 
in »he way of this marriage all right. 

Violet. Hut how, Richard? 

Richard. It's all very simple. Rose now has an education, and 
like a true daughter of Eve, will be ashamed of her C(Hintry friends. 
It will be strange, indeed, if I cannot win out against thiss"imi)leion. 
this village clown, who loves and intends to marry the Jady whom I 
havt* cliosen to wed. Eh, Violet? * * (lavqhit 

Violet. Surely, Richard, you will not harm her. Pri»mise me, 
Richard, that you will not. Remembar that in the sight of heaven^ 
1 am your wife, and you dare not marry another. Oh, Richard, 
promise me - promise me you will not harm her! 

( pats handkerchief tofmce 

Richard. Now, Violet, spare me your tears. You know I hate to 
.see a woman blubber. It doesn't improve your beauty, and by-the- 
bye, remember you are ru)t a.s blooming as when I first found vou. 
Of course you're my wife "In the sight of heaven." {sneering) \ 
care nothing for this girl-she is but the means to an end. and that 
end. the possession of this farm. Untold wealth is lying, at this 
moment, beneath our I'eet. W^e must manage to secure a deed. 
This place once mine, I shall force it to yield up it's hidden treasures, 
and then 

Violet. And then— {anxiously, hopefully 

Richard. And then~I will put the old life behind me forever. " \ 
shall cease my wickedness and become a highly respected member 
of society. ' ' {lavghs 

Violet. And what of me— of your promise? Oh, Richard, do' not 
decei\p me! I have lost all for ytta -{kneels) home, friends, honor, 
everything that a woman holds dear If you are false to your 
promise now. I sha,ll die! Ob, Richard, I love yon, I cannot giveyou 
up. (pleadingly) Tell me— tell me you will redeem vour i"otn ise".' 

Richard, {uneasily) Violet, this i"s rul>bish. Is no't mv prMtnise 



€ UNCLE ZKBERIAR 

fttijugli? Tt slrikes me you liavpn'i siicli implic-it f;iiiH in ine hs in 
tht* old days, (heip-s her }tp) ('oriip now. you'll spoil your eyes, 
i-H.itipr fine eyes i.hey weiv oucf -I remenjber. and {U-yteim) ah'. — 
Tli'^re's someone coming! IVmemltrr l,o tlipso people you are my 
sister, Miss Violet LaytOB. Do y.oi understand? 

Yiui.KT ."</('/o/v "i^di hf>iii Richard yoff (0 ledl, utukex prdea»e. of drink- 
in y. 

Enter Taggs, l. k., throuff/i gate, tBhutling. 

Taqgx. CJee: but I'm hot. {hoks ar^uinl. «.f(f.i Richakd) (Jit on to 
deswtHi: (yorm up, hit«\ivv\iA\KV> on b»ck) Hello! Uully. Ii:i\r y.m'se 
got :i l«*;ise on that weH? 

Htc/t'd-if. You lill.le rutlian! Clear out oC this now and yri back 
to ih.' poiuiionse wltf*re you Welonsr. 

Tagy!<. Wtdl. wiial do you t'ink of de iiprv--. Sa \ . Mr. Dick 
Lay ton. what's de matter wid you'se goin' to iW prurif^m ia ry where 
you'se belong. 

Hu'/uird. {Hurts) Who tiie devil arf you'.' {i/rubs 'L\\(^ws by thf, 
.\honidc.r) Speak, or I'll choke the life out of you! Who a r(> you and 
how came you here? 

Tai/yi*. My friends ktK)\r me as ''faaff.s, and I comn m a sidf-thior 
slerprr. Anyihing more you'se like to knou ? 

Hic/tanf. \Vell no, I suppose not. Ta»g's. 

Tayi/s. Taiinart. if you'se please. {fulds aruu — sttindx erect 

Uic/ii^rd. Oh. to l>e sure! Weil, lake this and be off. {tosses coin 

Tayys. (^r/.v.v umiieii -thnvcs it down) N(», t'ankyer, 1 ain't runnin' 
no risks id' brin' copped ft-r a counlerl'eilt-r. 

Hie/iord. {.sic^r/x violenti//) You lit lie vYrntch, I'll kill you! 

{tjr.ibs 'I'.AGGS by the throat— Vxou^T scream* 

Eitlfi- .]iiK. fi-fim hfius^, quickly, thr^tcf^ Richaup, L. 

Joe. What ar<^ you doin*- to that boy? 

Taijy-'<. 1 I'ink he was Iryin' to sever me wind-pipe. 

liiciiard. Ah; !;ood-mornin'. You are Mr. Wilson, T believe? 
Tiiis lit lie va.i;a\)onil was very impudeni. and I was about to put him 
ovit. He is prid>al)ly uv> to some mischiel'. nut allow me to introduce 
Twvseir. my name is I^ayton. Riehard Layion. and this young lady, 
(indicates Vioi.KT) is my sister. t'r\«<-ts n,ii<iZ''il. Vroi.KT Ixho.'^ and 
icaUcs up ntfdjf.) We are friends of Miss R ise. and knowinushe woidd 
be here to-day, Violet and I wished to be among ihe tirsl to greet 
]]f>\\ ('rA<;(;s ntnkf.* yriinitre 

Joe. {embArraa.'ied) Frienvls of M iss Rose. Then you are welcome. 
{tfiey shake hiinds) Come into the house ami I'll make yon acqtuiinl- 
ed With Aunt Mandy. She will V>e glad to .see you. {to Taggs) .And 
now, my lad. what do you want? 

Tagys. Gee whiz! why don't you ask me wiial I don't want, it 
woidd save time. 

Uirhard. Now my friend, let me give you a piece of g<»od advice. 
Now — 

T-iyyu. (interrupts) Dai's ill Dai's one t'ing I gets a plenty of. 
AVhy. r.se ha(^ enough aood ad\ice given me lo fill up a church 
}»«)use, and every b<»dy calls me poor kid and feel.s fer me. 



IjyrLE ZEBERIAH. 7 

Joe. It s?>erns lo nie von slionUl be al)lp to profit by so much ijood 
advice' ;iii(l syinp;! i by. 

Tay(js. Well, pjiril, I'se willing to proHl by advice when it comes 
ironi I he lip><.i a j^ood, h«»iiest man like— {looks Richakd up '(inldowit, 
f/ie/i hiich. to .\o\*)) liUe you, but there's detn what ain't lionest, you 
know, and lir.sides dis teelin' fer a feller, don't fill up de vacancy. 

{holds stomach 

Joe. Poor little chap, vou are hungry. Well, you C(»me right in 
with me and Aunt Mandy will give you something to till that 
\ a fancy. 

Itichard. Sur(»ly, Mr. Wlls.m, you are not going to take Ibis little 
\agabond in the housf'.' Is ilo-rr not a place near by for sucli as he.' 
He may be a spy for a n<-si n{ ihicves, and simt)ly h.-re i.o learn lh»- 
la> (d" thr la nd for I he gang. 

Joe. [looks at Taggs tktn <d Richard) The boy has an hon.-si fac-- 
and I airt't afraid to risk him. You can't always tell a gentleman 
by the clotlies he wears. 

Richard, {starts, recovers) Hut I do not like to see I lie lady put to 

il'nter ^]A^'DY, from house, ■•slops and listens. 

all this trouble. I will give him money and lu' can bu\ sometliing 
lo eat when hciiets to town. Better scud him on about his i>usiness. 
\faii4y. 'L'rtnible: A trouble to feed them that's hungry? No- 
sir-ee-bob! As long as«there's a, crust of bread in this liouse, nobody 
slui.II leave it's doors hungry Why. "A^U would raise the roof clean 
orfen the lu)u.se if anybody hinted at sich. (/« Taggs) Come right 
in. honcv, and I'll give vou a dinner that'll make vour siomach real 
glad. 

Tagijs. And I'll eat a ilinner that'll make your ta.ble look sick. 
icrnsst's K.) But I thank you. ma'am, dem'.s de'^first kind words dat's 
been spoken to me since me mother died, {crosuc.s to .lois) .And sa\-, 
NDusea regidar brick, {shakfs hands) you is. Dar's some good pet)plc 
in tlie world yet, but, you'se has It) look in de country for 'em. 
You'se been good to ute, and I'segoin' to l)c good to you. (RToriAKi) 
t4nd Yioi.v.T start) Yoij'se a, great big man and I'm iH)thin' but a. 
kid. but jne mudder once read me a story about a lion dal wascaught 
tight in a net, and » mouse helped him out by chewing de conls, and 
\\ ho knows but wliat .some day you'll be the lion and get caught fast 
in tiie net, and whenever you (ioes, de mouse'll be dere .lohnny on 
de spot. 

Joe. {laufihs) I liope it won't be necessary, Tagiis. l»ul com*'- in 
and Aunt Mandy will attend to your needs. .Aunt Maud v. this is 
Mr. Lay ton and his sister from th** city. They are friendsOf Rose. 

Mandp. You don't' say So' Well. I'm real glad losee you. (wipes 
haiid.if on apmn and shakes hainh) ,1ust come right in while I get the 
little cha|) somethin' to eat. {exit Mandy. Jok f^ad Taggs iitto house 

Richard. Violet, that boy must leave here Ji,t once. He is up t(» 
sottfe mischief and will block our game if he remains. 

Violtt. He seems to l<now you. 

Rich«rd. Yes. the littU devil was the only witness a»ainst ine 
tw<i \ ears ago, in that murder scrape, but a.s he was under aije. ami 
onl\ a street waif, his evith-nce didn't count for tnuch. I to, >/.:•< of i.. ) 
H'-re comes some one. Go inside and hold them in conversation. I 



S UNCLE ZEBKRIAH 

may be able to get same vaUiable information of (his old fellow. 

{.exit Vioi-BT, into Jion»€ 

Enter Bakki.sy, l. k. 

Barklty. Ab, % ^iVAW^^f'X -{comes down) How-do-vou do stranger? 
Hon-d»>-you-do? 

Richard. How d© you do' {.thalcfs haiidi) Lav ton is my name, 
Richard LayLon, from Cliicago. My ?sister and I are visiUng Miss 
Hickerson. 

BurkUy. Ah, I sets how il is. {luiiyhn) Smitten with R»».se. eh? 
Well, .'^he be a powerful h«nd.'iouie i^nl looks just like her niotlier 
did when she was young:. 1 w us snii i ten wilh Rose's motlier and I 
cau't blame you for hunkt-ii n' afier i lie ditughler. (liiuyha) Hu. ha, 
ba! Mean' Zeb botii loved her moilu;r, bnl siie miirried him. Luck 
— luck — his cursed luck: Ah! but he was born lucky, been lucky 
ever since 1 knowetl him. Everytliinsi- 1 touch goes wrong -every- 
thing he take.s hold on, gits along, and it".s all luck -liis cursed luck. 

Richard, {anide) The very man for ray purpose, inlnid) Yes, he 
is even luckier ibaii you are aware of. There has hiltdy been dis- 
covered a rich vein of coal on his farm which makes it worth a cool 
million dollars. 

Barldey. A million dollars! A million dollars tiid you say? 
liickerson's place wortli a million dollars! Ah, Zel>"sin luck! Zeb's 
in luck! Beat me out of the only woman 1 t-ver loved. :in<i now he's 
in a fair way of making a million dollars. 1 can never liopo to even 
see half that aaiount. 

Uichurd. 1 1. \h in your power to make that much and morel 

Btn'hify. In njy power to make a million dollars! How. stranger, 
b o w ■' 

liiclotnl. 1 1 is very simple. He does not know the xalue of the 
place. If \ini and I owned this place instead of Hickerson, the for- 
tune would be ours. 

BiirkJey. ^'es, but how can we get possessit)n of it. Hickerson 
swears he'll ne\er sell the place. He's attached to it. 

Richtivd. Bill if we could abtaiii it witliout buying it. 

Bar/di-y. Ol>tain it witlxnit buying it! lmpu.»ssible: 

Richard. If 1 could obtain posse.ssion of the titb- det^d. I could 
make it appear that he had transferred the fariTi to you for -a certain 
sum of money, as he has failed to ha\e ii leroi-ijed. 1 can forge a 
receipt. Do you understand".' 

Barklty. But how to get hold of the deed".' 

Richard. It is for tliat reason that I contiile in you. You arc 
known at the house, can easily lay your hiindon the document. 

Barklty. And you say it will mean money in my pocket. How 
much, say? 

Richard. Fifty thousand dollars at tlie very least. 

Barklcy. Fifty thousand dollars! A heap of money! A heap of 
money! But how am 1 to know that after I've done your dirty w»ork, 
you'll keei) your word? 

Richard. To show you that I mean what T say, here is something 
on account. [hamh money 

Riirklcy. {rlutches money yreedily) Money! Gold! Good money! 
H<»w much, {counts money) five ten -twenty.-fiv« (lollars! Good 



UNCLE ZEBERIAH. 9 

money — all mine? 

Richard. And much more if you succeed in obtaining the title 
deed f.u this farm. 

Barkley. You sweiir \o\\ will give me more when 1 get the deed? 
More money ? 

Richard. You shall have as much as yuu want, 

Barldey. SLraiij:er. ye may be ricli. but you never could give me 
all the gold 1 want. Gold! I love it better than mother, father, sisij-r 
or brother. Gold, shining gold. 1 love it better than life itse^M' 
sweet, beautiful gold. {contemplates coin in hand 

Richard, (aside) By jtn'e, I'm liaving an easier lime of it than 1 
anticipated. The old miser would sell his soul for gold. He will 
make a very useful i.ool. Once 1 hold the title deed to this|farm, 
.success is assured. IMie place will yield up eiiough to keep me in 
clover for the r^st of my <l;i.ys. 

Zeb. [heard off \,.) \Vhoal Well, here we are all safe atid sound. 

Richard. By jove, here comes HicUerson and Rose. ((T«*j#(?#) Re- 
member now, old nian, be on your guartl. 

tinier ZH;Hb;i<iAH and RoSK, t,. e. through gate — Rose in atraveaitg auit. 

Zeh. Well, little gfal. I reckon you are glad to get back to the old 
fai*m au;i ill ' 

Ro»e. N es. father, 1 am very, very glatl. But wfiere i.s Aunt 
Mandy and Baldy V 

Zeb. I guess they liaiu't heard u.s yet. (*«<?.* B.<KKi,h:Y and 
Richard) Well, gt. II darn me. if iiain'i Squire Barkley himself. 
{.shaken Ji an ds) How be ye, Squire? \lo Rtchakd) How be ye, 
stranger? 

Rose. Oh. Mr. Layton. how nice of you tube here lo welcome m». 
Father, this is Mr. LayLon. a friend whom I me*, while at school. 

Zeb. Well then, yer welcome, Mr. 1. nylon. {aha kcs hands 

Richard. Thank you. {to Rose) My sister Violet is her<» with me 
also. 

Roue. How nice of you to bring your sister out with you. but you 
will excuse me, 1 am sure, while I go in search of Auni Maiidy atid 
Baldy. { e.cit i nto house 

Richard. Certainly, {bows, tips hut) You possess a \^\'y desirable 
place here, Mr. Hickerson. 

Zeb. Oh, yes, pretty comfortable, couldn't wish nothin' more. 

Richard. It is just sucii a place as I have long wished to buy. I 
wonder if yv)u could be induced to part with it? 

Zeb. What: Part with the old farm'' No-siree-bob' N(>t as 
long as Zeb Hipker-son lives, nor after he's dead t)nlher. if he can 
help it. I bought this place for rn«'n .loan, just after Parson Hay- 
ward tied the knot and for thirty years we lived here, happy and 
contented. My little gals, Mary and Ro.se were born here, but Mary, 
God bless her wherever she may t>e. was stolen from us when she 
was but a mere baby. Some rascal, took it in his head that I had 
money, and stole my little gal frqm ine. thinkin' they would git a 
fortune. God k!U)ws I'd a give it, but I didn't have it to give. I 
ii«)t a letter after she was gone, savin* if \\\ come to a certain place 
in ("liicago witli $.5Q,000 cash, I coiihl get my child. It was si-ne(l 
"One of the gang." So 1 give t'he letter to the officers and went with 



10 UNCLE ZEBERIAH 

them, but when we reached tlie place, there were no one thar. aii.l I 
hain't never heard tell of my littlf Mary since. But Gonsariiiiig tlie 
old farm, w<^ are old relations, and Zeb HicUerson ain'l the man to 
g(» back on his relations. Wiu'ii 1 have passed in my check.s. I want 
Rose to keep the old farm and live on it just as I have d(»ne. 

(pantomime conversation with Bai{KM»-:t 

Richard, (aside) There's bui. owe thing to be done. Old Barkley 
must manage to get possession of the tleed, but I must not louse 
sight of the girl. If only I can make Violet believe it i.s necessary 
to marry Hose in order to secure th« farm— I shall indeed b^* lucky 
— it must l)e done. 

Zeb. 'J'arnation. but ain't it hot t©-day? .lust walk in I'olUs and 
I'll give you some hard cider of my own make, as'll make \ou iliink 
o' paradise. [exit into kouse 

Hu-hard. Rfinember, Squire, keep your eyes open — you must act 
at once — the title deed and yoiir $50,000. (exit into houxf 

. R.irkley. Oh, \ won't fergit' Zeb Hickerson, my turn has co?ue 
at last. Ye won the only woman I evf^r loved from me. I never loc- 
ga\e ye that, and now yoiril gel a chance to taste t)f lh»> life I've 
lived for iIih- last thirty years. Thiugs'U be changed when I ijit hold 
of iliat lille d.-ed. You'll be a pauper then, and 111 li;t\r .'>0.000 
dollars -{rhnckUt) .50.000 dollars— (ckuckka and e.ctls mlo house 

Enter Rose,//*ow» hack of house. 

lioae. Poor Aunt Mandy, how good she is to every one. She says 
sho would be so ha.ppy. if only she could be surfi Ilia t others are 
doing as much for sister Mary. Oii. if only I could have seen her 
once. Pshaw I I'll l)e having the blues directly, aiul to-«hiy I should 
l»e very-very Inippy. f(U- am I noi back (»u the dear <ild farnt. and 
ypi I feel ner\(>ii?s and afraid as ihough some unliappiness were in 
store for me. I wcuider where Richard and father went? 

KnLer Rkhakd, /ro»>i h«u$e. 

Jlirh,irtl. Alieml beg pardon. Miss Rose. 

Ros< . {st,(rts) Oh. hou- you frightened me. 

Riehurd. You were not expecting me? 

Rose. Not e.\actl.>, bul -I was thinking of you. 

Itichard. I hope your ihovights were n*)t unf)l(;(satit? 

Hose. Vliiw could 1 think unpleasantly of \(»u".' 

/ifi'hard. It jnakes tne very happy ti» hear yon s;( y ili;tl. Tvisten, 
Host?, tlie lime has come when I feel I must possess somrihing more 
ihaii frienilship fr(»rn you. Do you think you - 

Ritse. Mr. Ijayton. 1 1 do not nnder.slanti. 

Richard. I will nol bea t at»oul the bush. Already I have keptmy 
secret too long, and now I can only say I love you and I \>anl w>n for 
mv wife. (starts to enihrorr htr 

Rote, {holds him off ) Mr. Layton, [ value your friendship, but 
yoi.r wife — iiideed I could not promise that. 

Richard. Is there then anotl»er? 

Rose. Y(ui ha\e no right to ask that questiofi? 

Richard. I beg yt)ur pa.rdon, but my lo\efor\(>u n;iakes me forget 
what T am saving. I do not expect your ans > er now. .\ II I ,isk r.f 
\ou for the present is the privilej^e of friendship. You \\ill noi deny 



UNGLE ZEBERIAH. 11 

me entirely. Miss Rose? 

Rosf. ( Vri;iiii1y we shall be friends, Mr. Lay ton. {starts vp niage) 
I am goiiiy ill now it" yau care to join me- 

Richard. With pleasure. {exeunt biick of hou»6 

Enter Bakklet. /row housr. 

B'lrkley. Yes, here's the deed sure enough. Had les.s tronl)le tind- 
iiii: it (h;Mi 1 expected. Now for I he young si rimj:*'!-. {;/,h's (,> (/,i(e 
Zkbh-kiah /n'di-d laugh off K.) Thul's right, old rnaii. f^njoy yoMrself 
witile yon (;;in. You won't feel quite so funny to-moi-n>w, Zeh HicU- 
♦-i-s(tii. Vf .st(;le the only woman 1 ever loved from nifv Now 1 steal 
xe-r housi', yer farm— -every tiling. {Liughf, rubs hai/'i.'<) I'v^- waited a 
long ti lilt' 10 get square with you, and now my chance has come. 
We're quits. 

Efifrr 'VAuufi, from lionse, just as Bakkf.et draps deed —Taggs runs, 
/ficLs up deed, chunges with Bakki.ky, givex him a different paper. 

Tii;inlv you, \i>ung man, thanlc you. (exiL through gate off \,. 

I'liggs. D.ni'i mention it. Now I seen dai old get-zer foolin' 
Hround in tlit* liousc w hen nol)ody wjisa lookin' but me. and lipacte<i 
kind o' suspicious like, so says I. Taggs, just keep your peepers on 
de guy, so I sees him lake dem papers. VV<»nder what dey are' 
Well, he hain'l, gt»t 'em anyway. Guess I'll lake dese and pive 'era 
back to de farmer, but pshaw, dey wouldn't believe me nohow, 
'cause de> s all dead stuck on de old geezer. IJey'll t'ink I stole 'em 
and den I'll get pinched. 1 guess not! {exit back of house 

Enter RosB, from house. 

Hose. I wonder if Joe really cares ftu- Miss Violet? Oh. wliy 
shonld she she who is so beautiful and refined, and has m^^t so 
many men of the world. Wliy sliouUi she come here to win him 
from mf? And I used l.o thinlv he love<i me — and 11 ha\>' ji,liowp<l 
myself all unasked, to love liiin. Oh. .lof>, .l<»e! But I f^'ac — scuii**- 
thing, 1 know not what, t,ells me that Violet- would nr*\er wed a man 
who could offer her ncdhing l>ui love. If only I had some one to tell 
me what to do. Perhaps, in time - 

Enter Ri< haki>, from house. 

Richard. Beg pardoJi, Miss Rose, but may 1 'keep you ci^mpany? 

Ros< . ('eriainly. 1 f you don't mind, we will take a sIimI! down to 
the pasture and see father's stock. 1 haven't seen ihem lur some 
time, you kn..\\ . 

Richard. 1 shallbe delighted. {exeunt through gale off i,. 

Enter JoE and Vroi,ET,/Vo7» house. 

Vinlft. 1 wt^nder where the others liave gone? {at gate. l'>o/>:>< ^ff 
]..) Ah, Ihere is iu>- bcotlier and Rose lak i ny a stroll. Tlie\ are so 
(Mil: r'ss.'d ni eacli other, and Rose jool^s so happy. I believe she 
pr.'leis her cit.y associates lo her rural friends. 

Joe. liose will never go back on her t)wn people. 'Tain't her 
nature. We grew up together, and I love»i her as 1 ilid my own liitle 
sisters, and petted and watched over her, and she used to like me a 



12 UNCLE ZEBERIAH 

little when we were children, but if she's foiiinl soniebutl.y she likes 
better. I cant complain of that. 

Violet. Mr. Wilson, your'sisa noble nature. I am sure. How can 
any woman throw away the treasures of a jjood man's lo\fv Ah, if 
it had only been I— all I (iaughg hyaterically) but you promi.'«e(l to 
.sh(>\v me over the farm? 

,lof. So I did, and if you are ready, we will go. 

Enter RicHAKD a)Hi RosK, back of house, unseen bt/ Joe. 

VioUt. I always thought 1 slu^uld like to live on a fariri. 

{fxd Violet aiid Jok, throngk qnte off \,. 

Tllrkiird. Our young friend, Wilson, .seems to be luonopolizinjf 
Violet's atltntions. (lookin;i off after them) Upon my word. se>e how 
lover like is their attitude. 

Rose. And you still care for me after -after what 1 li:»\Hlold vdii? 

(Richard and Rosk come, down 

Richard. Nothinor can change my love for yon. Your attachment 
for Mr. Wilson is only that of a sister for an elder brother, ihoMu:h 
you do not realize il yet 

Rote, (aside) Poor Joe, it seems dreadful to give him up, and 
what will he think of me. (aloud) Richard, you will always love 
me/ 

Richard. Do you doubt me. Rose':' Can you doubt me? Come, 
your answer. W\\\ you be my wife? Ah! but I can read it in yonr 
eye.s— it is yes. Rose, is it not? 

Rose. Yes. Richard, 1 will be your wife, but promise me lhnt we 
shall remain here until after we are married. 

Richtird. That, is impossible! Liste?i. Rose, I have business of 
importance atid it is imperative that I relnrti Lo«the city at once, :uid 
I shall be compelled to remain absent f«»r at least a month. 

Rose. You must go at once? 

Richard. Yes. dear, it is unavoidal)lp. but listen, Rose, if you wit. 
consent to my plans, we need not part. 

Rose. \ do not understand. 

Richard. You can come with me to the city. We will \)h ni:i,rri^Ml 
there, and after the honey moon, we can return and celel)rate with 
the old folks -but it will be necessary to keep our marriage a secret. 

Rose. Not to tell evt^n father? 

Richard, (.'ircunistunces which I am not :i i liberty to explain 
now, miiUe this course necessary, but you sliall know all later. 

Rose. Leave wiiiioul a word to father! Oh, Richard. 1 cannot! 
It would break his heart! 

Richard. It, is partly for your father's sake 1 make tins reqiifsi. 
There are things which you do n»t understand, a.nd I would prefer 
nttt to tell y<ni for a timt-. You can trust me, Rose. 

Rose. Tell me. Richard. I can bear it. whatever it is. 

Richard. Well Rose, it is this: Old St^nir^ Barkley hates your 
father bitterly, for a fancied wrong Now he holds the title <ieed to 
your father's larm, which your father gave hitn for a d»-hi. wiih (he 
ui-.derstanding lu>wever, that he was ne\'er to sell the place (iuritig 
your father's lifetime. Barkley has recently discovered that the law 
would not hold him to suck an agreement, and has resolved, un- 
known to your father, to sell the old place. Now Rose, I am rich 
anil will buy the farm of old Rarkl<»y, and your father need nr*\er 



UNCLW ZKHKUIMI. m 

know — in fact it was not iipcess:iry for yon" to ktiow. Now Kn.st-, yuu 
can not loiiyer hold out against my re(jiie,st. 

Hose. And yuu will do tins -all for me? 

Richard. All loi- yon. 

Roi^e. Oh. Richard, how good and uobl<' you are. I — T -dolove 
you, Richard, and am satisfieii to place my fortuiip in your lieepinj; 
— 1 will be j^ui«ied by you in all thinjis. 

RicUani. {embraces her, aside) I thought that would bring her. 
{aloud) Spoken like tlie brave little girl you are. Now listen, we 
havf no time to loose. In one hour 1 will meet you at the station. 
Above all, don't breath a word of it to a living soul. You can write 
from the city — darling, the minutes will be days until I see you 
again. Good-bye. {eiabracfs\ios,'&, who thett exiUvito house) Now to 
see old Karkley and get the deed. The farm is mine and I may as 
well have the girl. [gxli through gate offlu. 

Entei- ZKBiLtiJ An, from house, lauyhiitg, 

Zeb. Took me for the Alderman. Wall, 1 cant get (uer the joke 

{laughs, sits on bench 

Enter Rose, from house. 

Rote, {aside) How liappy poor old father seems to-day— this day 
of all others. Dear old father, how will he feel in (uie short hour, 
when he finds I am gone. How I dread the thoughts, but it is all 
for the best. I will come back soon, and he will forgive me when he 
knows all. I must learn to look at it in that way. {puts arms 
arotmd Zk.bkkiah's neck, aJond) Whai makes my old father so liappv 
to-day? 

Zeb. Is it my little gal? Whv Rose, yourold daddy has jusi been 
mistaken for an Alderman. Who wouldn't be happy to have been 
taken i"er an Alderman, {laughs, stops suddmly ami looks at Rosa) 
Why, what's the matter, little gal? You look as sorrowful as a 
funeral. Have you and Joe been sassin' each other"'' 

Rose. lam noi sad, father — what ever put such a thought into 
your dear old head ? {strokes ^/.t head 

Zeb. Ah! little gal, your happiness is my only pleasure, since 
your mother and our little Mary went away. 

Rose, {kneels) Am I very much like her, father? 

Zeb. {strokes her head) As like as one pure white lily to another, 
little one. 

Rose. If anything should happen, father, would you still love me? 

Zeb. No matter what happens, little gal, ye'll always be the same 
to yourold dad: his old heart wouldn't change toward you, and in 
the hour of trouble, his old arms would be the first to open to ye, to 
shield ye from all harm. Bless my soul, I'll be as solemn as a!n un- 
dertaker if I ain't careful, {loipes eyes on handkerchief) E.xcuse me. 
I got somethin* in my eye. It's most time for dinner. Run in now 
and help your Aunt Mandy lay the plates— it'll sort o' liven ye up. 

{remains seated on. bench, meditating 

Rose, {kisses Zeberiah, goes to house and gets cloak and satchel - 
aside) Thus far lam unobserved. Oh, how' I hate this deception, 
this stealing away like a thief in the nig;ht, but Richard knows wliai. 



U VXCLK ZKRKRIAH 

is best, and he is so wood. -so kind. Tliese few lints will explain all. 
{drops note) Fart?\Vfll tuilier we slinll meet attain, soon, very soon, 
for has not Ricliarti piMinis^'d Lo briny nie back to you happy, oh. so 
happy — [sobs at gale) fart-wrll. lailKM-, farewell. 

[exit through gate uj^' l 

Entfr ^ow„fronl house. 

Joe. Well. 2rood-)>\'e. Tlncle Zeh. I unist be goingf. 

Zeb. (.fiaz/.t) What"^ yrr hurry. Joe. (linner'll bo ready in a few 
minutes. Better Slav and have some. 

Joe. No, thank you; TM l>e geltinir alons: towards lioiue. 

Zeb. Well, yer welcotue. Joe. if ytju want i(» stay. [vt- ;rot to go 
now and take a look around the barn and [\^t'i\ I he h<>.ssf-s, 

(exit throiiijh giite off l. 

Joe. Why does Rose avoi«t me'.' She scarcely tu)tict'd inr to-day. 
AViiat can 1 l»ave done to displease her' Ever since lier reiurn from 
the city, she srf^ms clianj^ed. To-niorr(»w I will see* ut'r and ask li^r 
f(»raii explanation. It cannot be she loves this Ijayton-but no. 
liose is too honest to have a secret from her old play-ft-Ilow. Well, 
there's no cluince of seein^^ her again to-day, so 1 might as Nvell b<. 
going, {.teetf note on floor) Hejh*! what's this? (pirlcHup note) Somt- 
body must have lost it — Rose's writing as! live. My God! what's 
Ihis'if Rose gone— eloped I Heaven help mel {tinks on bench 

Eut^r ZKBYim AM. I,. E. 

Zeb. Well, tarnation take me! tlu>uglit you was in .'such a 'aurry 
to go home, Joe'.' VVMiy, what's the matter, Jati'^ Yer as white as a 
ghost. What's tht matter'.' 

Joe. Rose -Rose has gone. 

Zeb. Rt)se gone? What do you mean. Joe? 

Joe. [hmnU note) Read I I found this here a moment ago. I hope 
it's not yet too late. 

Enter Mandt. B.\r,DT and Violet. /"/vw* house. 

Zeb. Rose's \Nritin' by jingo, {reads aim ni) "Dpar father, forgive 
me for what I am about to do— but 1 must lea\'' you, father, for a 
short time. Believe me, 1 go with one in w hose homu- 1 can safely 
trust. I will explain all later. Your loving daughter. Rosk." 
Mandy. Oh. Zeb., what does it mean? {iceep.n 

Zeb. {leans agninst fence) My little gal gone, stolen from her old 
dad. Oh God, give me strength to bear it! Gone — gone— my Rose 
gone! {riiiitts eyes upwards) Father in Heaxen, 1 pray you. watcii 
over my little gal, and bring her back to me unsullied, uniainied by 
the world's evil — goue — gone — {bows head, weeps 

SLOW CURTAIN. 



UNCLE ZEE EH 1 AH. 15 

ACT II. 

SCENE. — HaniUomdy furnished draiciiKj reom; C. e. ^rifJi (Iriipfrit^.t: 
H. idid L. t. .• icliidow inflat; sofa i..; 'phtnie near tcnidvie; cfuuri, 
book case on stage. 

Enter Richard and Sidney, c. b. a.« I'urteiiu ritefi. 

Rif'h/ird. (lauf/hs) Yes. Sid. I'm a lucky dog. At twenty I ni:ii'- 
rit'd Violet and netted a nice linle ioiMniie. Violet was a handsome 
yirl al that time. We lived hi<;h and the nioiiey went: bn( pshaw, 
what's the odds, I've h.id a yood time. an<1 now there's another for- 
tune in my grasp. For jnsi :is soon its Rose becomes Mrs. Richard 
Liiyton. I shall ha\e a cool million at m\ command. 

^Sidney. Not so fast, old cliap. I ha\e so!iie ntws that may dis- 
courage your plans. 

Richnrd. VVliat do ytni meitn'? 

Sid. Your wife is in New York. 

Rirk((rd. The devil yon say. 

Sid. No, 1 said your wife. 

Richnrd. VN'ell. that's about the .same tliincf. 

Sid. Well she's here, and sooner or later, she'll be down on you 
like a sleuth-hound. 1 thought \'{\ t)rsi slip down and irive vou 
warning. 

Richard. It is very good (d" you and I nppreciate it. 

Sid. Now she is ;i ware of your contemplated marriage to Rose to- 
night, and swears to interfere. What are you going- to tlo about it ? 

Richard. Oh, bluft' her! IT that fails, ! 'II compromise with her in 
Some way. 

Sid. Why man, that woman wotild tramplt your money under 
her feet. 

Enter Taggs, c. k. ax hell b*y, pulh curtains together and listens. 

Richard. Don't be so sure about that, l^espite her threats. I shall 
marry Rose, and with her fortune at my Command, 1 can see mv 

way clear, {IooIck at irate h) l)ut come, old boy, let's go to dinner ^^I 

usually dine at si.v, aiul it's past that hour now. 

Sid. Well, you're a cool one. I believe you'd laugh if you were 
going to be hanged. 

Richard, {lanyhx) I would at least ask the Sheriff for a smile to 
brace me up, but come on, or the cook will be going on a strike. 

(exit Richard and Sidnky, i.. m. 

Taggs. {comes do\cn, looks after them) By jove, it's a lucky ihinn- 
for me I wasn'i seen by Sidney Sherman. He wouhl have recoani/.-'d 
me even in these togs. I'll have to keep on the blind side of h im 
sure. I told Mr. .loe that I'd help him if he got in trouble, and I'm 
going to do it. I followed that l)loke of a Layton liowii here, and 
gets a job as bell boy in this hotel. I n\ rote a'letter to Mr. .Toe .-uid 
told liiin to come to New^ York, and in the meantime I have had mv 
peepeis (.n Dick, .\h: Layton. my friend, you may be deep, but I'll 
solve you, or my nanie ain't Taugs. 

{.ftai-ls V], stage, meets Zebertah - rims int., him. . 



^^ TTNCLK ZEBERIAH 

K.Ur ZKH..U.H, 0. «., .arryi., a carpet ,a, .n,. rnn.r.Uu, ,un.ps ini9 

fvL/^ o;"'.°''~^ beg yo.u- pardon, «,r! 
liigyt. Oh. doii t mention it 

Tagg,. Where is yer hotel r ' " ^'''' '">" ^'°^«'' ""d- 

^<j6. That's jistwhul I'm a trvin' to find out 

•and grabs my sftchef, .hU b;t he did "'^VTu" V'^^^"' '''''^ 
docker! Then the feller stan^din" Lhi. J? ^ '" -^c>-sir-ee-bob- 
P«t my name dou n i^a bi" boSi^a , I n.^w'^'V' "^"^*^^^ "^^ '^' 
nostranoe looking docnme rts I dn' i ' ' ^''j;. ^^^s•nt si^nin' 
he axed m. my na'n.e and wh ri V | t LTn ("1 ' r f '"' ''''"' 
rit !t down himsHf in ihe big book uhJ V,? 'T . ^"^"^•' ^'"^^ ''^ 
1 told him Ididn't vvanttotalfen '.;;'• . ''"^:' •'';^. ^'^vator. - 
.p come, a nigger chap by th;n;;m;';;f ' pI:;.;;;, '"-^ '••^^'^-^- Then 

yT'u x'"''. "^''^ •'■'*" ^^"^^^ ^'''^ "=""^ ^vas Porter'' 
><^^6. He had It rit on his cap. WVi] savs hp '-w ii .i • 
iicUk^how-legged) f told him I did, t .e f,o use ^ r^ '■ " T^' - 
sl.owo' myself, and that if it didnt mlL m. lifl' ' '"^'Umg a 

walk just the uav I alius had i> l «. ^ ^''^'^'•^^"^''^ 'o l>in,. I'd 
Well Uid, and he took m^to a HM^' o^c^t'^l'^r- "'f" T" 
U^e^d^r, grabbed a rop. and pulled th. ..^L.l ;;;;V^^^.^;:;f 

7V/y(7a What was the name of the hotel' 

T^nn. am'"'''^ ^"i" ^"'^"^"^^'-eiHl or somethin' like that' 

Zeb. You will - nbaf-a 'phone? ' ^^*^! ^"^ '^^^""^ 

Taggt. Telephone. {crosises u. 

Zeb. What the dickens is that^ 

rJ"{'P'\ '^''"^- '« f'^'a,t you, Charlie' Yes^tbis is fh. i i i o 
Innndol mine, and I wish vou'd s^nd . o-.u-.r^^.. k ' ..^, ^~^'" 



Zeb. Well, he don't wjTnt.much. 
^'^y<7». Hello! is that vou Char 

riHudol mine, and I wish vou'd spn<l a cabafter b m I i ? 

.er. until then-.say. tr.at him nght' he's QK All r Jl t'f'^i V. n 
him you wish to speak to him. * '^. iv. All nght, 1 11 tell 



UNCLE ZEBEHIAH. 17 

Zeh. O. K. — O. K.-wliat the dickens is that' Oh, 1 kuow - 
guessed it. the fust time. O. K.— old kicl<er. 

Tagys. Oh. no— O. K. means all right,biU I say, the clerk ai the 
hotel wants ii> speak to yon. 

Ztb. Well, where is he":" 

Taygif. He is iu the.oftice at the hotel. 

Zeif. Well, tell him to come on. I'm a waiLin' right here. 

Tagg». He can't. You com^ he^^^ and I'll expinin it to 3fon. 

{at ' yhohf 

Ze.b. You get out -you want to get me hurled? 

Taggs. Oh, qo, there's no danger, only during a thunder storm. 

Zeb. Yer sure they' ain't no real danger thf^ tarupl thing- w<m"t 
go off ? 

Taggs. Not the least bit of danger. 

Zeb. All right, b'gosh. I'll try it. {g0e$ to 'ph&ne) Now wh:tt do 
1 do? 

Taggs. {hands him receiver) Place this to your ear, I urn urwund 
and say hello! 

Zeb. (takea receiver, places it to his ear, hit face aieay fr^i/t 'pkone) 
Say, hello! 

Taggti. No, no! not that way, sir! 

Zeb. That's what you told me. 

Taggn. Now turn avouuil. 

Zeb. Oh, you want me to haw, instead of gee! {faces ''phom 

Taggs. Now say hello! 

Zeb. Somebody's talk in'. {laughi 

Tagys. Of course. Listen and hear what he says. 

Zeb. {drops receiver) Tarnation thing ijckles. {crosses k. 

Tayga. Oh, no, thafs all r-ighl. If you want to talk to the clerk, 
you'd better ct)me on and do it. or centr:i,l will cut you ofl'. 

Zeb. Out me off? I'll cut htm off. The idea of a man talkin" to 
me like that, {puts rect^icer to htn mouth) I say, hello! 

Tagys. Oli no, no, not that way. 

Zeb. {changes receiver to ear quickly) You don't liave to t-ell me 
twice about any of your new tangled tixins. I say, hello! What's 
that! I am, am I ? {drops receiver, gets furious) Well, you just comf 
out liere and I'll show you pretty quick. 

Togys. What's the matter now? 

Zeb. Matter? Matter enough! That feller in there said I was an 
old Reuben. 

Tayy.'s. {laughs) Sure, that was only the clerk having a little fun 
with you. 

Zeb. Well, I'll have fun with him when I catch him, see if 1 
don't. (crosses K. 

Taggs. I guess you will, old man. {goes to 'phone, rings off ami 
hangs up receiver) Say, old man, what brought you to New York? 

Zeb. The steam cars. Did you i.hink 1 walked? 

Taggs. Oh, no, 1 mean vvliy did you come? 

Zeb. What be that to you? Say, who be you anyhow? 

'Taggs. You ask who I am- well sir, I'll tell you, I am the poor 
kid you fed out at your house a short time ago, 

Zeb. Well, I'm jiggered. 

TagQS. And if I'm not very much mistaken, you are looking for 
somHl)ody. Come, tell me, and maybe I can help you. 



18 ViSCLE ZEBEllLAH 

Zfb. You guessed her fust trip. 1 be a looking Cer somebodj. 

Taggs. I knew it — who is if: 

Zeb. I be a look in' fer my daugliLer. 

Taggs. Youi- daughter — ah. 

Zet/. Ye see, youngster, L was married at an early age, and two 
children, Ixjth daughters, was born to my wile, and we — well Wf 
just worshiped the ground Miey walked on, but w hen .Mary was still 
a b;iby, she was stolen away from us. Well, the thing just brok« 
her poor old mother's heart, and in less than a year we laid her ti> 
rest in the old church yard. Would ye believe me, I ain't heard tell 
of that child to this day. 

Taggs. Why, that is too bad. 

Zeb. Oh, it's tou goldarned bad. Well, I was left all alone then, 
so I got the old woman's sister, Maiuly, to keep house fi>r me and 
look after my little gal — my little Rose, ail that was left to me. 
We raised her up to be one of the tine.st gals in the neighborhood. 
We sent her to a female cemetery and ii'oi her etidicated, and made 
a lady of her, but while she was there, she Qiet a smooth tongued 
chap by the name of Lay ton. 

Taggs. Lay ton? 

Zeb. Yes, did you ever hear tel) o' him ? 

Taggs. Yes, I think I've heard the name before. 

Zf'b. Weil, this here Layton was a nice looking young cluip. and 
about a week ago when my daugliter came home fr»)ni the (•.•hu'Iim \ , 
he came there to see her, and she ran away with him thai very same 
day. And she be ihe one I'm a looking for now. 

Taggs. Well sir. I'll find her for you. {rrossen to c. 

Zei). Good boy. 1 tiiought you'd help me. {skakei* hamU 

Taggx. You see, old man, 1 knew more about your story than I 
pre ten ted. 

Zeb. You knew — ? 

Tagga. Yes, your daughter is safe, and I have guarded her as 
though she were luy own sister. 

Zjeb. Why bo}', how can I ever repay you? 

Taggs. B\'^ not trying to. [laughter heard off i,.) 8h — you had 
better take your leave, as somectne is ai)t to return at any moment, 
and tluit miiiht compromise matters, you kuow. (Zi<;Bh;iiiAH givt.t a 
look of uiKUr.Handiiig—botlt move it.) That door (]>ointit ic. ) leaels to 
the side street. You are not likely to be seen g()ing .mt tiiat \\ay. 

(ZtcBKKiAH looka wise—exeuiit k. s. 

Enter Rosk, l. b. 

Rose. How patient Richard has been, but to-niglit must end it all. 
1 cannot put hi in off longer, anil yet I am tilh-d with a naiut-less 
dread. Richard loves me truly, I know. Yes, I will marry him at 
once, to-night, then we can return io father and tell him all. He 
will forgive me, I am sure. But Joe, what will he think — what 
must he think of me? Oh. but 1 haxe no right to think of Joe. I 
must think of Richard now. he who has been so generous, so kind. 
1 will see him at once aiul tfjl him I will be his wife, {looks off' h.) 
Ah, there is a stranger with him. 1 will retire to my room and 
await his coming. {exit i.. k. 



UACLM ZKHhJIilAH. 19 

h'/iifr Tag(4s, r. k. 
Enifr Viot.et, v. e. — '^PAiu^s mfets Viot.et and boirx to her. 

Violet. Will ycfii iiifi^rm your mnstei', a lady is w:iil i n^ to see liini. 
(1'AGGS UiHi'S (tnd f.cit.s i{. K. V101.H.T comct douui 'V M^i-is itjt/ii'iirs al c. 
v.. <nid. liidcK bekiinl I'tirf^u ns) And lliis is liis hoiisr. 

'/'iigf/.f. (u.fidf, f'loin hc/n'nd cardnNfi) Wonder if .slie i;ii;es it for his 
siiiblfs. 

Vi'dft. Little he dreams I it ui so near. 

Tiiifijs. {((side) How could lie dreani when }ie ain't asleep. 

[litughs 

Violet. And this is juslice. To-day he iininhers hi>^ friends by 
the score, while I haven't one. 

I'ligys. (li-fide) Den wese l)(»th in de same boat. ma."ani. 

Violet. And in a few ininnles we'll meet, face to face. Heaven 
i;i\ p me stren^l h to deal w ith this nian, as 1 should, the tuan I once 
lovetl. Aye. si ill li>\ p. for try as I iu;i,y, I caniuti hale him. 'l'huu<^h 
he se|>»'raled mr from those I loveil, made me an outcast, a pauper, 
1—1 love him st ill. 

K)itfr Rfchakd. r. e. — .surprised. 

Tlicluird. Violet! 

Vitdet. I fancied you would be surprised. It's been %o long since 
you saw me. 

Ji/i'/iiird. Well, what do you want? {crudie.'t k. 

Violet. Justice (Oily justice. {d'Oosea l,. 

Jiic/nird. .lusticeV \\ liai do you mean? 

Vio/f. Y(Mi know \er\ well what I mean. 
Jiirhiird. 1 haven't, the sligiilesL idea. 

V^ioUt. Then I'll tell you. I am here to make you rio:ht the wroui; 
you ha\ e ih)ne me — 

liieliidd. Spare me a recital of your woes. 

Viidtt. { /dai-ex /i^thd 0/1 R]CHM<u's arm, pleadingly) Oh. Ricliard. 
how ran y(.u be so cruel'r Won't you lalie me l)ack again a-i vour 
lawful w.'dded wife".' 

Hiekiird. Fool'. Are you <»-oiii<; to spoil everytlting at the last 
moment'r (Ikrows her oj}\ gon to c. ) What you ask is i^upossible. 

Vtolet. No, no! Riciiard, don't say that, {kneels) On my knees I 
bejLf of \ oil. 

Ricfntrd. I tell you 1 cannot. 

Violet. '^\.u shall! S(. far I have helped you with your vile 
schemes — but now. now I shall - 

liichirrd. {tkri>r.-< her ojf' (/gain and goest to L.) Oarefid how vou 
threaten! Remember you are dea.li ny wit h adesperale man. Come, 
Violet, let's reason this thing cooly. You can trust me. 

Violet, irises) Trust yt>u'.' Sooner would I hold a scorpion to my 
clieek and trust, it not to sting. 

Hirhard. {.v/s on .sofa) Then I'll speak plainly. I don't love vou 
and never did- I wanted to get hohl of I he fortune which vou'in- 
heriied. Well I j^ot i I , and 1 must say. I lived pretty con)fortable 
while it lasted, but it'sifttne now, ami I'm obliued to say I have no 
further use for viui. But I'll tell you what I'll do, Vi. Now I'm in 
love with Rose and intend to marry her. You keep your mouth 



so UNCLK ZEBERIAH 

shut and I'll give you $5,000 as soon as the ceremony is over. 

Violet. And ilo yon think I'd touch one penny ol" ihe money 
gained by such villainy. No! I'd rather die. 

Bichard. {crosses tu k.) Well, so much I he more for me, ihen. 

Violet, (up to him) Oh, man, have you no pity — no leelinjf — no 
heart? See to what a depth you havf plunged me. but 1 swejir. 
Richard Layion, that so long as I live, you shall never drag amuher 
innocent i;irl down to ray level. 

Richard. And how will you prevent it? 

Violet. By exposing to her your perfidy. 

Richard. She would not believe you. 

Violet, (c.) You forget I have proofs. 

Richard, (goes to her) What proof? 

Violet. ( prod licet letters) Some letters written by you to your 
darling wift-. 

Richard, (snatches letters, throws Iter R.) Now you can't prove it. 

(letters behind him 

Taggs. (comes forward and grabs letter*, holds them up) No, but 
Taggs can. 

Richard, (crosses l.) You imp of satan! Give me those letters, or 
I'll - 

Taggs. (draws revolver on Richakd) Stay right where you are! 

JBnter Sidney, l. e., hits TAGQsfrom behind, drops revolver as he falls-— 
Joe enters c. e., 7tU5 Sidnky, he fulls— B.iCB.KMy hits .]ok.. he falU — 
ZKBiiitUAH enters c. k., hits Richakd, who staggers ay<(inst book-case, 
which turns over and breaks — Violet screams and fiilU in chair — 
Sidney recovers, he and Richakd start for Zkbeulah, icho hits 
Sidney, he staggers — T.\ggs ^strikes at Richakd «cfV/<c7/u/V— Richakd 
catches it, grabs Taggs, throws him through irindow. (glass crash) — 
all have recovered by tins time — Zebekiah and Joe k., Sidney and 
Richakd i.. — Rose appears l,, starts r. and is thrown back by 
Richakd— Joe and Zebekiah start i.., both are thrown k. — (horse 
effects and gong heard off stage) — Joe a)id Zebekiah start i^. again 
and both are knocked down. 

Richard. The police! Quick, Sid., you take Rose and I'll take 
Violet. We can make our escape through the side door. Quick, or 
all will be lost. 

Richard takes Violet offii. e., Sidnky struggles with Rose, puts hand- 
kerchief over her face, she faints — Sidney starts n. — Joe recovers, gets 
Tagg's revolver off of floor, grabs Sidney, lakes Rose in his >inn^ 
throws Sidney r. and levels revolver on him, backs up to c. E. with 
Rose in his arm. 

Joe. Move an inch and I'll drop yo*! 

Enter Police and Taggs, r. e. 

QUICK CURTAIN. 



UNCLE ZEBERIAH. 21 

ACT 111. 

SCENE. — Double set — Rough room k., u. in v.. rough table and chairs, 
cAip. murer, bottle, knife, dfudle und ulick on ttfble- door v. of parti- 
tion which leads to a handsomely furnished room, which has a ].. e. ; 
sideboard containtnf/ decanter and glasses — picture on wall, which is 
fixed, to fall at a fixed time— screen, sofa and chairs about the room- 
RACHKii is discovered in rough room, sitting at table, drinking out uf 
cup as curtain vines. 

Rachel. An, so oui- fine gentleman {drinks) has got his bird caged 
at last, {drinks) \o\\, doi. means moi-«* vork. {drinks) More vorU 
- d(»t means more, money. He always pays veil too. {drinks -knock 
heard on door in fiat) Yes. I am coming. Dot must be the captain. 
{k/iork heard again) Veil, \ait a minute. 

(hobble.ii up stage, unfastens and opens door 

Muter Isaac, d. in f. fastens door, both come dvwn. to table. 

Isaac. Has anyone been here vile I vas gone^' 

Rachel. Yes. de captain vas here, and he will b<- back soon. He 
gave^strict orders to keep every von out. He saiil he would have 
plenty vctrk to keep us busy for a tew days, and he vill pay iis n ell. 

/.laKC. Ah! he always does pay well, and iiis orders shall be 
t>be.\ed, Rachel. 

Rachel. Yes, it always pays to obey de captain's orders, liecause 
hes got plenty of money, and he does not mind to part mit ii. But 
Isaac, how did you come out mit that last shipment of goods':' 

l.'<aac. Oh. it vent mitout any tronble. 1 sent it C. (). I). 

Rachel. I am atraid, Isaac, you vas too bold. Somebody might 
suspect. Y»ui haf been sending so much out laiely. 

Isaac. Ah, dere is no danger of that. 1 send ii uni Ifoiii .U- store 
over on Baxter St. {knock heard »n ly. in f.) Ah. sonic on.' is at de 
door. 

Rachel. Veil, vy dt)n't you no and see \vlio it is' 

Luiac. {goes to door) Who is dere? 

Taggs. {heard from outiide.) Sue Lee. 

Isaac. Veil, vot you vanf 

Taggs. Me bling washee. 

Isaac. For who vas ii '' 

Taggs. Mellican man. 

I.'<aac. Veil; he is not here now. Yoti come back later mit it. 

Taggs. Sue Lee no waitee. .Vlellican man say 1)1 ing washee here. 
Me n() can u aitee. 

Isaac, {turns to KKCVLm.) Rachel, il, vas de Chinaman mit de 
captain's \ash. Shall ve let iiirn in? 

Rachel. No, let him vait till cJe captain comes. 

Isaac. Ah! he vas sent by de captain, ve vill let him in. 

Rachel. 1 sa\ no! 

Isaac. 1 say \e vill. 

llachel. All right, as you please, but I vash my hands from de 
w lii>lr business. 

I.saac. {turns to door) Vat is der name on de laundry? 

7'aggs. Me no reader. Suf- Lee see name on lapper. sonn.l like 
Mr. Laton. allee saniee Mejlicati man wantee washee. 



'J 3 UNCLE ZEBHJRIAH 

IsaMC. {iiiij'i(st./'ns tind opent door) Veil, give we de bundle. 

Isaac take$ bundU and put,* it on. table — at this implant, piclvre fullxfrdni 
wail in roo/u l. — both start. 

Rachel. ^^|| v.ihc^oI. (§&es \.. quiekltj,i*'pens door, sees picture on fliwr 
— .itandu horrijifd. lori/iyinc/ hands) Oil, lUeyl oh, Ikey — look, l<ti»k! 
a pici lire has lallcti! 

[i/ieaniohiU Isaac ?uis run in ali0, and .stands hoiiijir(f 

EnUr Tag«s, d. in f., dixijuL^rd as a Chinaman, hides under I ihle. 

(Kachki. and Isaac in room \..) Oli, lke>, dot iMfims stMii^i liiiiy. 
SoMieihiiija: Irrribie vas t^oiiig U> liappeu! {:dartfi to pick il up 

Isaac, {r.rclaintif) Oli.doirU don'l, for your ti fe! iluiTl you tnucii 
iloi piclurf'! Vrii a pIcUire falls froiM de vuli, dol menus dot some 
vou ill de family vas ^oiii' to die. 

liachel. Oh, yes, I know it does. I v*jiidfr who il vill br? Do 
you feel sick, Ikey ? 

haac. No. but coiMf. let's jo back and faslt*n dedoorti^hi. (//-','// 
return to room u.) 1 \oiidf*r wlitre dot ('hiMaiiiau vent loo'.' I <j:ui-vs 
lu' must have been scared i>ul. {nhatg door and fasten. t il j 

liachel. {picks up bundle of laundry, Uoks alii) Yes, ilis v:is dc 
caplaiiTs laundry. I vill put it in his rooiM. (.v^nV.t i,. 

Isaac. Nw>, (ion't you do ill You ke«»p avay from dot room. 1 
niiTi superstitious, only don'lyuu go in that room any niort- lo-ni_i?li t. 
Somt'l hing'.s sure lo happrn if you ilo. (RacHki. lat/s huudlc hue/,- on. 
table Vou bei no von \ill come iu Uis door dis iii^ihi. oiil\ - wImL 
dr ciiplain briiiiis in himsflf. {knock heard on u. in h\ 

liachel. Vol is. Ikfv. Some von is knocking. 

ls,i,tc. [fpicx to door] \Vho is dere'/ 

llichiinl. (from irithout) The Captain. 

hiiac. {opens door) All ri?hi, Captain, c«iMe right in. 

Enter llu HARD. D. in v., ilightly intoxicated. 

Richard. Any out- be»-n here? 

I.'<aac. Vfs. a ('hinaman l)roui^ht your VHsh. 

It'/chard. What! the chinlc delivering laundry at this Vionr of 
niiiht. Well. I'm glad he brought it anyhow, because I need it. 
Where's the girl ? 

o'^**.'"'; • In our rooiw, captain. 

liichard. Has she given you any trouble'? 

liachel. 'So, I gave her the strong dose. She sleeps plenty good. 

liic'tard. {to Isaac) Did you search lier? 

Uaac. .O^ course I did. 

Richard. What did you find? 

Ltaac. Some jewelry. 

Richard Find any letters or papers of any kiad? 

Isaitc. Nothing but some rings and a vatch. 

liichard. .lust my luck: 1 might have known, after last ni-hi".s 
excitement. slo-M place those papers in stune one's care for s:i|Vm\. 
1 let her gel :i \\ ;i y oil purpose, SO that she could see ihat brat Tagu.-i 
aihl give him i he leiu-rs. 

Rachel. Tagys'.' 



UNCLE ZEBERtAlL 23 

Jilcliard. Yes, ilo yon ki)o\v the Ivid? 

Hachd. Yes, he useci to come around here pnrU' much on cold 
iii<ihl.s, last vviutei-, hiinlinj; a phice lo sleep. 

Isaac. He vas in my store dm Baxter St. to-day, 

RicJiard. Curse the brat. Perliai)s she did iioi, si'e him yesierdaj. 
If yon see him again, bring him here and detain him until I come 

Isaac. All right, captain, if you pay me for it, yctn know. 

Richard,. Of course! Don't I always pa}' well? 

Isaac. Of course, but 1 ahva\'s vanted to be udrrstood, you know. 
Dot is all. 

Rickanl. There's no dangf^r of a misuiidHrst;! tiding on that point. 
Well, we've gcd- ;i hard night's worlc h^d'ore u^. (roand bring I'u' 
girl, then you mav botli retire until 1 call. 

Itaac All right. 

icvil Isaac and Rachki,, k. K. — i'al tie of chain licavd 

Richard, {(jven to room i,., Ikronf/li door in partilio/i) In tlir mean 
time I'll take a bracer, {gof^f to .sidcMoard and drinks, then rctarns as- 

EnterYiOLKT. r. K. — ihty face each other. 

Violet. Richard I 

Richard. You're surprised tosee me! Well. ithasl)P'-n vniPtimft 
since ue met-. [Li'ijjhs 

Viidet. Oh, Richard, whatiloyou tnean'.'' Last night you promised 
so faithfully to put the old life away, to be a ditl'ereni, man, if oidy 
I would forgive am.1 forget the past, and all that has tra,ns[)ired, 
Richard, I promised and would has'e kept that promise to the end — 

liichai-d. Bui, you won't now, eh'^ {laauhs) Indeed, I'm very 
sorry. Say, Violet, did you get back those interesting letters y&\\ 
hold ai:ainst me. from that, brat, Taggs? 
Violft. I refuse to answer your question. 

Richanl. Indeed! (uliruqs xhoiilder) See here, Violet. I advise vou 
to lisien lo reason. Von have those letters and I kn(^w it. Give 
them up, sign thispap.M- {takes paper from pocket) leave here at oiict 
and forever, or by heaven I'll kill you! 

(riiisM h.iio.d oner her, she kneeU with outstretched, arms 

Violet. Strike, cow ard! 

Richard. Will you tio as T say? 

Viidet. May I si'e tlw pai)t'r you wish me to sign? (RtCHARD 
hand.'K paper — she looks at it lhr,>trs it to floor) What, sign this, df^olar- 
ing that 1 am not your wife Xo!,ril die first. 

Uirh'ird. (shnu/s s/i,)tttdf'.r.'^) Die. eh! A nd so you slia,ll — .ifsolilary 
continem^nt. {calls) Here. Isaac! 

Enter IsAAO, R. E, 

haac. Yat is de maltpr'' 

Richard. Take this wt.man and put her in the dnngeon. Give 
her neither foo<i nor drink. 

Violet, {kneels to KicB.\HD, takes his hand pleadin;/) No, no. Richard, 
yon could not be so cruel. 

Richard, {thro ics her off) Take y^nir hands from me. Is;iac. away 
Aviih her. 

Jsaae. {helps her up) Come along my charming visitor I \ ill show 



S4 UNULE ZEBhJRlAH 

you to voiii* room. 

Violet. (ri.'*e.<<,jerk.'<amit/from\s\.Kv) Release me I I'll go alone- 
{gefs to door n. Uiras to RrcHAUD) Richard Lay ton, do your worst, 
hut rf'Tnpmbrr, i.lx^re shall be a day of recUonin". I shall find some 
nnt*,ans of escape, and my revenge shall haunt you to your grave — to 
your grave. Kir hard Lay ton' (mi r. k., \&kag foUo'vos 

Rschard. {icatrhex Ihtm exU, skrugK xfi0iilder.s and laiu/hs) Revenge, 
•h ? Curse her, she'll do it. too, if .she lives- -but she'll not live. 

[goes to room i,., (a/ce/t drink from .ndeboard 

Taggs. {comet out from, under table rautioiul^y) Mellican man killed 
Mellican gal. No. Mellic:au man no killee Mellican gal. Sue [..^e 
watches the Jew where he put the key, and help Mellican gal. 

{fx'il K. K.- rap heard, on door in flat 

Enttr Rach«i., k. k., crosses to door l., calls. 

Rachel Captain, some von is knocking. 

Richard. Well, go see who ii is. (goes to door in partition 

Rachel, {at o. in F.) Who is it ? 

(Barki.icy raps three timex stotcly, then three times in rapid xHcr.ennion 
Richard. It's all right. Open the door. (Rxchki, <>p«//..* d*>«7* 

Muter BAKK.I.KY, d. in v., carrying Rose, loho ix uucimscious, pud heron 
chair near table — Rachkl clofem door. 

Burkley. Now, some m«re of yer infernal dirty work completed. 

Richard. No, you have completed nothing. A nice mess you 
made of ii, trying to get that deed. 

BarkUy. VVell. I am sure I had It when I left the house, and — 

Richard. Well, never mind your explanation now. How did you 
capture the girl? 

Harkley. \Vell. in accordaHCe with your instructions, I brought 
mv old lop buggy from liome. I sent a boy up to the hotel with a 
note, while Joe Wilson was away, bearing his signature and asking 
her to meet him at a place designated, at a certain time. She came 
and was somewhat surprised to see me instead of Wilson, so I threw 
a chloroformed handkerchief over her face, and she keeled over 
witljout a murmur. 

Richard. And are you sure you were not seen'.' 

Burkley. Certain, but this is a queer lookini; place to bring Rose. 
What are you going lo do with her".' 

Richard, {hand* hiin man, y) Don't get too itupiisiiive. 

Barkley. {car enses money) Ah, more money : {rhurklex) Nice, good 
njoney — all mine all mine— ichiickle-'i 

Rachel, {imtchtfs him closely) Oh, mine gracious, he loves doi 
money belter den vot 1 do yet. 

Richard. Here, Squire, you take her in the other room and i)lace 
her on th<* sofa. 

Barkley. All right, young stranger— all right. 

Barki.ky carrie.< Kosk *// room \,. and lay's her on aofa, partly conceals' 
her behind .rrrfen. Hun rtturnx to room n.—rap heard on d. in f. 

Richard, {calls) Isaac! 



UNVL K ZKBERI A H. S6 

bjiitfi' Isaac, u. k. 

Isaac. Vat's de matter? 

Richitrd. Someone's ai ih»* dour. Spp who it is. (^(9 Bakki.et) 
You C(>me ill here. 

KitHAKO tiikes Barki.ky io room i,.. ami hf fxiU o^ i.. RKUAtii* -(' 
door in partition, iixUiitn^. 

Isaac, (at u. in F.) Who is it'' 

Joe. {hfurd from outside) It's Mickey Dunn. 

Isaac. V;il is? 

Joe. I got some plunder to sell you. 

Richard. Let him in. Swe what he luoixs like. 

{cLose* door and listens inside — IsA;ir *p«?)# dnor 

Enter .Iok. d. in p., disguised as a lr<tni[), witk bag of JeicrLs, leatches, etc., 
comes doicn Isaac clos,.-< door and follows. 

Isaac. Now vat you got? 

Joe. Me? Wliy I'se grot a wh<»l»' U>ad uf plunder. You de main 
gazabo? 

Isaac. 1 am d« gentleman vot d(»es de buying. 

Joe. Well, vvhat'll you give me I'er the loi. Look at Viu. 

{layn them dotnn on. tiihle, Iisaac looks at them 

Isaac. Uff^y are vorth $10. 

Joe. Siiy, whal/s you given me? DtMf's three hundred dollars 
worth of |)l under dere. 

haac. Veil, dot is all I can gi\ e y(»u. 

Joe. Well, give me de fen. 

\SKKV hands' Joe money, Hr^haku. ic/w h.i.^ heen lixlenin.g, comes in frtm 
I,., Isaac c.citx k. k. 

Richord. {aside) Tlje v^.ry man lor u>e. {aloud) HelK.. my man! 
Made a good haul, eh? 

Jo,'. 1 certainly did. 

Rickanl. How would y(Ui like to earn a large sum of money to- 
night? Say, tiriy lime.»i as nnich as you have just received? 

Jite. Workiri" \s cl^ar tuit of ine line. pard. 

Richard. 'VUr- work I have in mind, will not iake>ou more ihati 
five minutes. I want, you Io rid ilo- t^arili of a certain party i ha\e 
in (Captivity here. 

Joe. Oh, you'se want me to kill ?*«>tuf'iiod_\ , eh? 

Richard. {.•<lart») Y-e-s — that's ii. 

Joe. And yt>u'se willin' to g'wf' me tllty timt-s as much as 1 jo 
to-night? Say. how much is that? 

Richard. F\\<- hundred dollars. 

Joe. (draws knife from belt) Bring out de fatted calf. 

Richard. You step in here, [opens door i..) until I'm ready for you. 
(JoK enters room i,.. consumes the time bg looking at everything closely, 
^akes drink from sideboard, etc.. fmolly .-<ee.t RosK, t.v much surprised — 
meantrhile !\n u a kd has closed door and calls) Isaac I 



S6 UNCLE ZEBEHIAH 

Elder Isaac, r. e. 

l.siiiif. Val y<»n want'' 

fiir/iard. Bring that tjirl out here asrain. 

fyotc. All rii:lit. (crff n. w. 

Rirhnrd. Now I'll ser if I iMii't. brinsr lif^r to li^r senses, d/oi'x fn 
tiifor I,, find sef,9 .loK <it sideboard, pourtag drink into n (flass) What are 
vou (ioihii tltere? 

Joe. (sdirtifd) VVhII. I you see — T heard you comitii;, and I 
tlKMiiilit sou might he dry. Havea driuU, pard. (ofevKglatx 

Ri'-hiird. [tiikfix II ilriiil,: >J<iw help yourself. 

((ji-iex to room \\. iind rlosfi.^ door 

,Joi\ T';i iilvs ler <ie kind offerings. {take* a. dritik 

Eiitfr Isaac, r. b., with Violet. 

Tsdiir. Now herp she vas. 

Ricfuird. {to Isaac) You may sro now. 

Uiuw. All right. ifxit n. ib. 

Ilichard. Vit>let, I have clKiiiyed my mind. If yon «!till rt-fus.- to 
do .IS I ask. 1 mean to kill you at oner. 

Violet. IlicliHrd Layton, yon are mi-nn iMiouiili to do it. hut \<)\\ 
\\\\\ !)oi Uiil me. because you are a coward. 

Rir/tiird. Ojice for all. will you do as 1 ask? 

\'/o/t^t. No! Kill me. Richar<l. (/oufj/ix 

Rir'i'ir't. Y(tud;imne(i husseyl Ixfin't.f for \'\oi,v.r. *hf kutrh irilh 
ont!>trftched nrm» - pirture — Richakd o/ietis duor i,.. CiiUx) Herf. yo\i.' 
I am ready for yt»u now. {Jok. f/oes to room, u. ) There she is now 
do your work. 

ViOLKT starts — ,Tok stogffers don-ii to Vioi.kt. draio-i ko/Ye. »he criiKjiny 

icith feor. 

Violet. No, no, man! hnve mercy, mercv! 

Joe. (irith a S9rt of drunken Imujk) So this is t,he fat-ted calf, eh? 
(Inaif/ii) W^»ll. I tell you pard. I'm a pr»Mly toujih muy myself, and 
\'\e <lone lot« of Ihinjjs tliat wasn't exactly honorable, but when it 
cotnes to murderin' an innocent woman in cold blood, I'll be (Earned 
if V\\ do it. 

Richard. Stand asid.'you chicken hearted fool, (.ftart.s to \\o\.mr 

Joe. H(»id on t ht-re pardi To reach thai woman, you'll have to 
cri»ss the dead body of Mickey Dunn. See! (Yioi.kt 7-m<.* 

Isaac ap/)ear.'< u. durinfi littler part of speech — pauses for a nunnent. then 
flips Oft front hfhlnd o/id knock,'* JoK itnron.trious with bottle he toke* 
front t.ible Rivu.KiW ;jrob'( Violkt, thet/ .tC/v/^/^/*?— Taogs etiters n. 
K.. kiiorkg Isaac nuconsrityua — Rachki. enterx r. k., he also knocks 
her uncon.rciifu.r, then yrtiljs RiCHAKD, they struggle, throios liim i,., 
rntis with Yioi-kt to d. in F. 

Richard, {starts for him) You cursed chink. 
IWgt/s. {at door) No, not a cliinlv. t)nt Taij^s, at your service. 

( pulls revolver and thrmcs oficig—BkKK\.mY appeitr.^ i,. k 
Richiird. Damnation ! 

Ta<-;(;s itmi Vloi.Kl disappear — Ruhauo [eons inpiiusl table trith d^jfctcd 

look. 



UNCLE ZEBERIAH. 27 

Enter V> \\{K\ .v:\ , \.. K., mth neiexpapfr in hnnd. 

Barkley. Did 1 lu'ai-.vou meiiiioii (,'arrip Nation ? 

RirJinnl. No. 

Barkley. Well, I was ju.st roiiding in the Te in ihth nee Advocate 
that— 

Mic/iuvd. Curse the 'LVwipe ranee Advocate. 

Barklnj. Ah - wliat? 

Richard. Bai-kley, thr game's up. Taggs is on to us- lie lias been 
yjere and taken Violet away. The pt)lice will be dtnvii on us in a 
minute. You'd better go while tliere"s time. 

Barkley. (starts for d. in v.) Yes, 1 tliink the atmosphere is a bit 
stilling in here anyway. (exit \). in f. 

Richard, (follows him to door und fastens it, then comes down) Curse 
tbem, they've cauj^lit me like a rat in a iiole. I I'eel all imstrunj;. 
(goes to room Ij.) Another drink— drink is what 1 want -sonietliinjj: 
to steady my nerves, {yt'tv a drink at sideboard, removes screen and 
looks at KoHU. —laug?ts) So you escaped liis sight, eh, Rose? (laughs 

Rose, {awakening gradually) Why, what is this — where am I - 
why I I (sees Rich KHD, screams ami springs to her feet) Mr. Lay ton, 
what does this mean ? 

Richard. It uieans that we are here alone, (removes coat and test) 
I liave tried every honorable means of makinjj you my wile. F;ite 
has been ayainst me. But now you shall be mine by fair or foul 
means. 

Rose. Mr. Lay ton, you do not know what you are saying. You 
cannot make me your wife, for you already liave one. 

Richard. No, 1 have no wife. 1 lo\ e you ami only you, and have 
loved you from the lirst. It was 1 who \\:u\ you l>roiiiiht here to-night . 
The oHIcers are after tue. {.]i}\< rooM/s s/,,iiUy ond .sl.Kjqcrs to door \..) 
In less than a half hour they'll be here. There is no chance for my 
escape now. My cri ines will convict nie for life, but you -you at 
least shall not escape me, 

Richard start.i for Koae. -she Kcrea //t.s^oE. rushes in from n.. Ilircirx 
Rich ^kd i,. Rkhard .ftiirls for .\o\i, they elmcJi tind struggle .low 
tJiroins RiCHAKD I,., wlio Ui'K uiicooKcions on floor. 

Joe. Now Miss, you're at liberty to go. 

RosK r/.'/'.v to room r., and starts for d. in v. KA<'nir,r, and Isa \c h<fre 
recortred — Rachkl c«tches RosK '/;/(/ pushes ho- k., Isa m //r////M/ 
door I,. 

Rachel. I guess not! 

Isaac "'/'/ Rachji;!, c/rab Jok and hind him to chair with light rope Isaac 
tokc* from his pocket during struggle ,IOK looses his to'ord. 

Rose, (recognizes ,Iok) Joe! 

Joe. Yes, Rose, it is I. I feared you might come to some harm. 

Richard, (arouses at last speech and enters rough room front i.. i .loe 
Wilson, ah! (laughs) So you have cro.ssed my path again. Well, 
my tine ct)unti-v frienii. yttii ha.\e played your part well, but now 
Cttr^e you, ru make short w(U-k of youl 



98 UNCLE ZKBERIAH 

Ri( HARD xl.tvhfor Job with knife, at same time RosE.«c>ya)na, takes knife 
from tiibie and ranK to ,1ok, cuts kim loose — JoK vineK quickly and 
knorl^s lli( HAUL) unro/i.fc/ous -RosK opens D. in F. quickly- \9kAC 
and RA('Hh:i, ititrtfor .Iop: K[cha hd rccorerif slmcli/ -Txggs appears 
at D. i/t F. . tcith two reViHcerK. pot/tts one on Isaac; a/id, th^ other on 
Rachki. picture. 

Tagys. Not so fast my Jewish friends. {uses Jt^icish dialec 

CUE T A IK 



ACT IV. 

SCENE — Old fashioned kitchen in Hickbuson's country home—d«or r. 

c, iciiidow I,, c: f replace r.. with a mantel, on which are Hower pois 
and. plants, cigar box contaitting pipe, tobacco and nuilchea -table \.. 
c: six chairs about stage: stove h.\ barrel up l. ; kitchen, table near 
stove with a crock, butter botcl and ladle on same; easy chair near fire- 
place — stiow storm effect off stage ~M.Ai!iDY discovered l. near fireplace 
churning, as curtain rises. 

Mandy. [calls] Baldy. Bakiy! I say, Baldy! 
Baldy. ( h sard off' tn.) Well! 

hinfer Baluy. k. k.. reading book a?id carrying pitchfoi'k. 

Mandy. VVliiti on ejirth are you bringing that pitchfork in the 
house for? 

Baldy. Haujife's loose. Brought it in fer uncle Zeb to Mx. 

( places pitchfork L. 

Mandy. Come here. 1 want you to finish churniui; (Bai.dy goes 
to churn) this butter, while I gel supper ready, fer Zeb'll be here 
piirly soon with thefolks. It's ii.boni tiine now. But I .suppose he's 
.Htopped somewhere gossipiu' with ihe ueiiilibors. {buste.'' hi-r.self— 
goes to toindois -wind heard blofc she shivers ) My! how tht* wiiul is a- 
hlowin'. I hain't seen .sec h a spell of weather hanofonlike this'since 
'o9. the time aunt Sarahs rooster got his fe«t froze. Baldy, did you 
do the ffetiiu' as 1 told you to? 

Haldy. Tajigs isdoin' it. 

.Mandy. VV^<'11. Baldy, hain't you ashamed o' yourself to let thafe 
yt>ungste*r do all the feedin' by hisself. 

Baldy. Well, I fed em last Sunday. 

Mindy. Yes. and you hain't fed 'em since. 1 do believe you're 
the laziest, tormentin' critter that ever lived. Hurry up now and 
churn that butler. 

Baldy. (char as real fast, bumps nose with churn dasher, grabs nose, 
goes up stage, ihfn to fireplace, stands under nt't/t/el) Now. that settles 
it. 1 ain'i agoin' to churn another bit no sir, not another bit. 

I 
Ha\.d\ r<tises hand, strikes mantel above, knocks floicer pots down , they fat 
mil over him —he grabs head. 

Mandy. Sakes alive. Baldy. ain't you i>-ot a bit o' sense. Now you 
l»i.'U up them things and finish churnin' that butter. {e.xit k. e. 

B'f'dy. I pick nj) fiowfrs and pots sUiwIy, then comes doicn to churn — 



UNGLS ZEBERIAU. $B 

picks up book —churns slowly, then- almo.it Mop^, u reaihufi ooo/c (ill th» 
tcliile) Sliuck.s, every lime I git started readin' my E\lra(;t.s from 
HostetLer's, I haf to »!(> sonit-l li i iT else, ami it's an aw liil runny booU, 
and I jist love to read it. Here is au av\ tnl riuiiiy tiling. Dr. Mc- 
.Manus: "Let me feel your pulse., MiUe." MiUe: "Sure, sir, it 
seems to beat liie hardest where the brick hit me on the head." 
(Uiugh.s uprouriouf^ly) Thi.s is an awlHI funny book. Prisoner: "I 
prefer shootin" to hangin'. Judoe." .Indfe: "Well, most of us 
would ral her .see a Ijangin'. so wt-'ll hauu- you first and shoot you 
afterwards. That'll make it salisfacli»ry all around." (scratches ?iis 
hfiul ilof-s not comprehend re/>e(jifs and finally i<teii the point- laughs up' 
roariDii-sly) Extracts from Ilo.sietlers; it\s an awful funny book. 
Auni Hannah; "'Lottk alieaii. nigger, doan yo' know youMl git de 
njeiaiiclioly obde stomach, if you eat so much watermelon'.'" {laughs) 
Oh, ni\. t)ut Extracts from Hostellers is an awful funny book. 
Myrtle: 'Mr. Readytnoney told me last night at the parly, that my 
face was a [loem." Rose: 'How mean of him to re.fer to the lines." 
[fails t(f comprehend — scratches head over and over) "Why is a goat 
nearly'.'" Answer; "Because it's all hut." {hesitatex for a moment, 
then sees point — lav gJis as before) Hosi^ t ters is an awful funny book. 
{ehnrn.s ,s/incly. t*t .*ame tinu Ivohing at h«0k 

Enter Mandy. k. k. 

Mandy. Baldy, ain't you got that butter churned yet'.' 

[jioes to churn 

Baldy. {c?iurnsraptdiy as Masdy speaks) Yep, I think it's a-comin'. 

Mandy. (looks in churn) Tain't comin", no sich a thing, (auess 
you've had yer nose stuck in that plague taked H(»slelter's Bitter 
book again. Do hurry now, Baldy, and Mnish churnin' the butter. 
(hu!<y at table- !deiyh bells heard faintly off st^tye 

Baidy. All right. Aunt Mandy, I'll hurry, {char n.x lirely sin y») 
''Come, butter come — come, butter come; Peter stands al the -iatf 
with a hot honey cake. C'ome, butter come.'' 

{bells yet gradually louder 

Mandy. {at windoic) Sake.s alive! I do believe the folks are a- 
comin" now, and supper ain't more an started. Do hurry now. 
Baldy. {busies herself at table bells stop— rap heard on. n. c. i).— Mandv 
ope)is diOor wuid hotels, snow blows to door) Sakes alive! if it aiu'li Mr, 
Layton. Do come in out of the cold. 

Entefi' Richard, r. c, ». 

Have a chair up here by the fire. My, hain't you nearly froze? 

{brnsJtes chair with apron near fireplace 

Richard, {removes overcoat, etc., sits by fire warming his hands) Well 
no, not exactly. You see I am dressed for the weather. 

Mandy. Well, I calculate as how a person must have pretty im- 
portant business to be out in sich weather as this. 

Richard. Yes, it is business of great importance tliat brings me 
out to-night. Where is Mr. Hickerson'/ 

Mandy. He went to the city this morniu' and tuck all the folks 
with him but me and — 

Baldjj. {at churn) And me. 

Man,ly. Me and Baldy. 

Richard. Duyuu expect him home soon? 



^^ UNCLE ZK BE HI AH 

Mandy. Most any miiiute- mow. Iihoughr, ir, was him wh»-n I 

.eard you a-comiM-. U .1, uiit, him you've goi; bu.sines" or- In- 

barruised) JMavbe 'lai..-! none ol' my buNiness ""^"'^•^'' ^' i^^'* 

HtchMvd. Ah, as youai-e a rdalivr and his housekee^per it mav 
"^ lia j; "V^s'^ ''' '^"^ "^ "'^"- ''^^' '•' '-^ '- ^^"-" • -- toTe" 
^je^..c^. It .nay surprise you ,o leavn ,ha( some vea;:'::^?"^ 
H.ckersou ^ave Squir. Barkley the li I h- deed Lo this propem Vor a 
sum o money The de.d ha. recently bee« U-ausfen-ed lo me by 
>VY of sale, and I have come to take ilossession. ^ 

Mandy. Oh. sir! you don't meaa thai 

Mandy. And that condiLien is— 

Richard. That Rose becuirjes my wife 

.l/«//./2/. That will never be. for she is going to marry Joe Wilson 
and even jf our gal was u iilin'. w.'d ail'ratirer star e^t Ian see h V- 
%wl .V; 'w' " '^^-'^^^" .scoundrel as we know vou to be. 

Richard. Why, y„u old hussy, if it wasn't for your a.-e and 
th^^o" -- a wom.n, I'd choke those infernal .or:^:^a.^:' ^ 

audtl^hrt^'\t^iim''r''^ «^/';^.m..,/,,rM) Well, I ain't n«old woman 
and 1 am t no little hoy neither, and what AuntMandv has list said 
IS mj sentiments too. Now choke 'em down my throat "^ ' 

mhiufe '' '^" *"'*^'"" P^'PP^' •'" ^•'^•^^'« y^'^ i» ^^^"^ ^ 

Baldy. igra,s,Uchf.r^ Yes. and I'll ran. ^^'^^I^^Z^IZ. 

^or n''fe hi n •"'',' "'," ^""'T ^'^^^^.^^^ •^ Uncle Zeb., and 1 he a 
Thete s ,h' ; "l ='V"^^'V^' ^"' ^ h^'-'*' '^'« «y duty to be boss. 

Baldy t.rr.s to Mandy. .\unt Mandy, I believe butter has come 
*/.« J V"'' 7^ r" P'^'''!f '''•'' '^^fgh bdl. ring, they QrudaaUy .top 
Mandy {g,>e, to Hun;,, i.,1,... out butter, puts it in wooden boici .he L^ 

from kUchen tab e) Yes, lU.ldy, ifs fathered nice as can be \^ v 

c,Z';:;;/:i>'^/''^^'M'/■'' ^'''' '"''^'^ ^"^ '"'"^ ^» '"«^ crock, W.,; 

c^otkon table) and I'll give yon a drink of nice butter-milk 

buf r/r^m ilir^'"" '"'^^ '" '"'"''^'^ ^"" ' '^''' ^' ^"- ^'^^ -'^'^ ^^ •">' 

Hai.dy *rt* C/.U77. *,. >^r-MANDT (///,., c«^ .^/^ 0/ milk and haod, it to 

Baidy. 

JEnter Tasgs, R. c. k. with lighted lantern. 

V./KV Oh. Taps, you be jist in time, Here's a nice cup of 
flesh but i.r-milk fer you. (/,,,,^,/, ;^^.,,^ ,, J. 

/".'///-: Ihank you, Aunt Mandy. (takes milk, got, to firepiu^e 

^u\ t^.MTi'l^^l ''"''"''"-^ ^^•^■' ^"'' "'^ «^'^ to-night, ^c/..;.;^.., 
?/m/.) Kaldy, 1 II play you a game of checkers. 

Baldy. {xtartH for checkerboard^ All ri"ht 

^n■n."";.••|I ^^'"T ''^'^'^r^ .?"""'■ "^*"^J^startin'any checkers now. 
Supp.r II soon be ready. \ou can lay the cloth and set .he table 
(Hai.uy and i aggs get to work getting the, table, etc.) 1 reckon the lol s 



UNCLE ZEBERIAH. SL 

*n soon be liere. nnd l"ni JhsI a dvin' to lell Zeb aboul ^Ir. LayiMH 
bein* here ajiMin. {gleiylihellK hfiinl off\.., ifnidihtllji louder 

Tuyna. Has dat guy been lie re ajiuin ' 

Maiuly. Yes, and there's no I ell in' what mischiet' he's up U)i>, and 
might ha' ilone, if it hadn't been IVr L^aldy. 

Tailiix. Say. why didn'l yon'st' smd fer ine? I'd a ^ivedal hloUe 
an nppDr cut dat'd a sent, him t(» Xmw York— See! 

Ald/uii/. {(joen to wiit(h)c) The folivs a.re coinin' now. Do hurry, 
boys, ler you know theyMl all be cold a.nd hungry when they gvi in. 

{nil bti.sy sfUiiui the Inhle helU ntcp 

Enter Zkb, Joe. Violet and Rosk, k. c. e. — (dl kenrllii irrapped — 
Hai.dy and Taggs afti^isf I hem in tnking ojD' nuurpx <tnd htmdles — 
ViOi-K'j' airriex a hutho.v tnilh n hat in it, hands it to Bai.dy, loho set$ 
it on floor — uU biiity reniorinii trrnpx, etc. 

Zeb. ( II. s he enters) Ah. Mandy, hei-c we be all saO and swund. 
Bless my soni if siie ain't g.^t I he supper h(»t and steam in' fer us. 
My. but I hat coffee smells ^ood. (removes hut, roat. etc. 

Hose. See here. Aunt Mandy, I brought you a nice present, (hands 
her iHuidle) somethinu which I think you will like, h'sa new dress. 

Mainly, {takes bundle, opens it, spreadu oat black doth— nil ladies and 
Bai,uy yathrr up cloHe. to ser dress) Sakes alive! a black grenadine. 
That's soniethin' I've been a wanted for thirty years. xMy, a,in"l ii 
tine. 

Zeb. Baldy, yer always stick i n' your nose in the women'satl'airs. 
Come away! (yrabs him. siriny.s him around, he sets on hutbo.v 

Baldy. {rises, picks up bo.v and hat smashed fiat —places hat beliceeii lid, 
hajids it to Yioi.KT) Here's a fiam sandwich fer ye. I didn't try to 
hep it. {exit 'I'agos, k. c. k., with lantern 

Mandy. Sakes alive, Baldy, 1 do reckon you're the aw kwardesi 
boy that e\er lived! Pick up thena things quick a.s you kin, and 
put 'em :n tbe other room. 

(Bki.DY picks up bundles, etc., carries theni oJ'l. 

He-enter Baldy, i,. e. 

Hurry now, and put the chairs to tbe table. (Baldy places chairs to 
table) Come on, all of you. supper's a. spilin'. 

{all but Mandv and Taggs sit at table, Zi!:B ut head 
Zeb. Pass yer plates now, and let me help you to some o'this 
bacon. Gosh, it smells gooil after the long drive in the c<»ld. 

All pass plates, one »fter the other — busy eating — Mandy pours out coffee 

to all. 

Mandy. Zeb, who do you reckon was here this evening? 

Zeb. l3on't know, Mandy. Deac(»n Honsford? 

Mandy. No, it wasn't Deacon Housft)rd, it was Richard Layton. 

Zeh. {all look surprised) Ricliard Layton! Well, I calcnla te'he'U 
gil his nose nipped off drivin' out in sich weather as this. What'd 
he w ant ''. 

Mandy. Said as how he wanted to see you. Reckon he'll be back. 
Well. 1 reclcon he'd a sta.yed. but Baldy. tliar, he had li» gii smart 
and d'-ive l)im out with a pitch-fork. He's always a meddlin' wherw 
he liadn't orter. 



SS I'SCLh: ZHHhUilAH 

Baldy. Wf^ll. he ^ui sassy -calle.l lirr an old luissy, 

Z^h. WpH. ta.niHiioii lake liiin, ill had him here now. I'd troiiuce 
hi 111 iticMKl. 

.ytiiiift/. He said as liow you had sold Lliis laiTii to Squire Barkley 
\>-ars a,^<>, I'ltr a dfl»i. and Ilial lit* hail hou^'hl if from tlie Squire ami 
\va,iiie«| 10 tuUe p«iss<'Ssiou. 

Zeb. i^pHshea cluiir iiioa.j^ frotn table) What? 

tioiie. (^risf.^ and >ioen to Zkb) Oh. fallier. is it tru<» th^ii? 

Zi-b. Whai. liitir gal? 

Hoi^f. Thai \ou are indebted t© this inau? 

Zfb. Whai ill Sam Hill ari- you all talking- ahuut ? 

Hase. Simpl.N' tliis. father: It was for thai very reason 1 left with 
Mr. l^aytiih. He tuld u>e you were i%ipl>it'd to Squirt- Barkley. and 
that you lia.d gi\en him ihr title th^ed Ik ihf farm. i)utihai you were 
to luive life time possession. That l>arkl<\\ had reoently discovered 
that tlte contract was not hintiinj*. and was dett-nnined to sell. Mr. 
Layion agreed to buy the place and j;ivf ii liack lo vou, when I be- 
came liis wife. 

Zeb. Well, I'll be tuckered: Why didn't you tell me this afore? 

Hose. Because, fallier. after I came back home. I did not l»elieve 
it to be I rue. 

Zeb. Well darn it. it ain't. 

/ia.'<f. Oh father, I am so "flad, for it was for ihal reason only, I 
would \\A\t^ married him. 

Zfb. Well, I'm larnal glad you didn't, but take the-se supper 
things awa>. 1 fe^>! it in my bones that he's goinji to start a humbug- 
lt»-ni«ihi. 

A7*v/7//"'"'.V /vvf?— Mandy dears things nioay —Y^m.ds frit k. k. — Zf-b gor.^ 
to mnittel *aid fills pipe. 

Roue. .loe. will you come with me to the sitting-room? 

Joe. Wit h pleasure, but before we go, I have an important ques- 
tion I wish to ask you in tiie presence of aunt Mandy, your fatlier 
and every boily liere. 

Roue. "What is it, Joe? 

Joe. You have been away to a fashionable seminary and you've 
got an education -I ain't notiiin' but just plain country folks, with 
no more education than the htw allows me. but Rose, { love you as 
mucli as it is possible for a man to love any wotnan. an<i if you don't 
think I am asking too much, and you lliink you could ever care for 
such as me, I want you to l>e my wife. 

R.tsf. Why Joe, my education has not made of me the tickle 
n^i tilled liirl that you seem to think me. I have loved you ever since 
we were Children, and would have given my consent long ago just 
fiM- the asking. 

Zt'b. I knew it. Ye see Joe, if ye'd had a little more spunk, ye'd 
saved all this trouble. 

,l(>f. That's rifht, uncle Zeb. but heaven grant that our troubles 
are over now, and with Rose as my wife, we will try and forget the 
past. {tltcy ciahr.tr, 

Zeb. Skido there you youngsters. Uon't you think you had better 
go in the sitting-room by yourselves to do your sparkin'? 

Rose, {btuf/hiug) Come. Joe. {e.vtt Rofiif. <ind Joe, i.. k. 

Zeb. {-ntn down near fireplace — to VfOT.KT) Sit down and make yei- 



UNCLE ZEBERIAH. 2S 

%(^\{ to home. 

Viuiet. [isilis near Jirephice) U's curious, uncle Zeb — may 1 call you 
niicl« Zeb? (Zkb nods) But I feel just as if this had always been 
my home — as if I had always lived here. 

Mandf/. (gets shuivl) I've jot to go and lock them pesky chickens 
up, or they'll freeze. I never saw weatiier hang on like tliis. 

{exit K. tt. 

Zeb. Well now, Violet, that we are alone, and you're yoin' to 
make this your home, I'd like fer you to tell me soinethin' about 
yourself. 

\lolet. I am afraid, uncle Zeb, there is little to lell. You see, I 
never knew a mother or father. 

Zeb. Both dead. I reckon? 

Violet. 1 don't know. When I was a very small child, I was 
adopted by m wealthy family. They had f<-)und me in a coal-shed 
one dark cold night. ''.I'he citizens first jy:ave me the name of Mercy 
Coal, and decided to send me to the orphans home, but the woman 
who f®und me took a fancy for me, and adopted me and gave me 
lierown name, Violet McM urtry. I lived witli them until I was of 
ai(e, then I met and married Richard Ijayton. My foster parents 
did not live lonjgf, and as they had no children of their own, all their 
wealth was left to me, but my money, under the control of Richard 
Lay ton, did not last long, aufi wlnMi it was gone, he deserted me. 
'L''hen I become desperate. He unfolded his vile plans to me, and 
promised if 1 would help him to ;i?ain possession of your farm, to lead 
a dirt'erent life, and take me l)ack as his wife At first I resolved to 
help him, unmindful of the misery it would cause others, but when 
the time came, 1 could not — I could noti 

Zfb. And why is he so anxious to jjet possession of my farm? 

Violet. He said that untold wealth was lyin^' beneatii it — but it 
was all to throw me off all he wanted was your daughter Rose. 

Zeb. And you have no inkling as to who your motlier was? 

Violet. ,Not the least. When 1 left my foster mother, she gave 
me a locket. It was on my neck when 1 was found, and contained 
a photograph of a woman, which she said might possibly be my 
mother. 1 have worn it always next to my heart, and loving it as 
though 1 knew it were my own mother, i takes locket off, /uinilsitto 
ZttB — he looks at it and .'tlaris- rises, goes quietly to mantel tnjid gets small 
case with photo in it—ronipare.s the t\c0, then, handi them to Violet, she 
rises) They are the same. 

Zeb. My child, it is your mother, and she was my wife. 

Violet. Father, father! (they embrace 

Zeb. Mary. Mary,- my own little gal. Ah, child, 1 can see (sleigh 
bells heard off stage) it all now. You were stolen from me when you 
were a little baby. I could not tind you. but He who guides us 
( p(dnt.<t up) thraugh life, has brought you back t(i yourold dad. But 
come, Mary, let's tell the others this grand, glorious news, {crosses 
u.) I hav« found my Mary. 

(bells louder and stop — rap heard on k. c. ic. 

Enter Mandy, Rose, Joe and Baldy, r. c. k. 

. Ah, child, your face is jist like yer motlier's, and yer — {rap heard on 
R. c. D.) Somebody's kiijockin'. (opens door) Come in, stranger. 



^4 UNCLE ZKHKHIMI. 

Enter M.K. Pkakck, k. c. m. 
and have a seat by tlie fire. 

(offers chair —he does not ait, but U)ibiUtonf< cmt. .<ihake» of snotc, ete. 

Pearee. Pardon my intrusion, but I am here on a mallVr of impor- 
tance. We, the firm of Pearee, Reed <& Co., sent our Agi.. Air. 
Layton, here some months a»(., to nejioliate with you, re;;ardiiiK a 
rich vein of coal that was found on your land bv our men, wlHle 
doing some underground work, a half mile east of ourshafl. H*f 
has continually reported that he could not mak.- satisfuciorv ar- 
ranij:ement.s, so I have called to see what as>reemehl we can come to. 

Zeb. Tarnations, he never told me nothin' about it. 

Pearee. Is that a fact! Well, if you can show conclusively that 
you own a clear title deed to this i)lace, we are willin«r to pav you 
liberally for the privilege of mininj: the coal. 

Zeb. Well, 1 ain"t got no objections to that, and if ye'll wait jist 
a minute. I'll fetch the df-rd out -iud show it to >()u. {exit k. k. 

jyamiy. {belLs heard off ufagf -to Pkauck) Woii't vou take oflf ver 
things and sit down by the fire while yer waitin'r 

(belts louder and .ttm 

Pearee. 1 thank you. 

'Prkrck removes coat, etc., and sits— rap hsard on r. c. door— ^Ixi^dy 

opens doer. 

Mandy. (\tme in. 

Enter Kwnwiu. k. c. K.,ioith Constabj.e, imlks to fireplace, not notie- 
uig Pkakce, lohoite back it turned. 

Enter Zkb, r. e. 

Zeb. Well, tarnation take me, I've looked everywhere for that 
pesky deed, and I'll be darned if I can find it anywhere. 
Hirhafil. Perhaps 1 can throw a little light on" the subiect 
Zeb. Vou: ^ 

Enter Taggs, r. e. 

Richard. Yes, I— Squire Barkley was the rightful owner of this 
plact^, aiul held possession of the deed, but I ha,ve recently purchased 
it from him and here it is. (take!< paper from pocket 

Tagys. [comes forward) Oh, say, I got a little information dat'll 
knock your'se a twister. You know de day I come here last sum- 
mer? Well, 1 sees de old geezer what hangs around wid dat bloke 
cop, a piece of paper out of dis house. I followed him out in de 
yard and see him drop it. and I picks it up and gives him another 
piece of paper— I keeps tie real t'ing myself, and put it in that old 
coat I left here, instead of the one Mr. Joe gave me. You throwed it 
in the rag barrel, (gets coat out of barrel and takes paper from pocket) 
and here it is. 

Constable. Hold on! I've come to arrest somebody — I reckon I 
better take you. (puts handcuffs 0n Richard 

Zeb. Well, I'm tuckered. 

JOK and Rose 7iear n. e.. Violet l., Pkarce aiid Bai-dy l. c, Zeb, 
Mandy and Taggs c, Richahd and Constable r. c. 

CURTAIN. 

TMB SND. 



VNCLK ZKHKlllMI. SB 

SYNOI'SIS OF EVHSrS- 

ACT I.— Uiiclt* Zeb's farui— Zt-I>. mukes his loilel. in ;iiil it-ipxtion of his thiUfb- 
ter's lu»me<H>iiiin^— Joe, lier «^irlli<iu»i's t-limii— Tlu- villain appears- K 1 1- hard 
plots lo iitl> the lariiif !• of his land — Ta^gs, a waiC, HiiiLs a Irifud In Uuvlf Zeb. 
— BarUlev . the jealous mister- Plotting to steal the deed of the farm— Rose's re- 
turn and the iueetin<; of Riehard — She eonseiits to betrome Rieliard.s \^ i le to 
save her father's lioine — "Little gal, your happiuess is my onl> pleasure since 
your motlier and little Mary went away" — The elopement— A father's ane[uish. 

ACJT II. — I)rawint;-rooin iu N. Y. City — The i)lot tliiekeus -^Tlie farmer and the 
telephone — Taygrs discovers where Richard has Rose hiddeu — Meetiu": of 
Richard and Violet, his wife — A deiuaud for jus.tice, which is refused — An at- 
tairU ;tnd esc;t pe of Richard. 

AtvT III. — Den of Isaac Lovinsky — Isaac and Rachel — Rose a prisener — At- 
tempted murder eud.«( in a h^ht, in which Violet mjikes iier escape — Ta^i^s ar- 
rives in the nick of time to save Roses liie "Not so fast mine Jewish friends.' 

ACT IV.— Uncle Zeb's farm Biildy and Man.iy-Baldy has a diffiwult task in 
luakiMgf the butter come — Ricli;i r<l ;irrives to claim and take possessioB of the 
farm— Baldy uses a pit<'li fork lo jjood advantagre — Rose exphiins the cause of 
her leaviuy hoiue with Richai'd — Violet's story ol her life— Uncle ZeU. discovers 
that Violet is his louff lost daughter, Miiry— "The lost deed is re»'«vered and the 
villain exposed and put to rout — Uncle Zeb. finds he is a very ricii cnan — Happy 
ending. 



PROPERTIES. 

ACT T.—Be)u'h, wa^h basiu, com b, glass, towl, fence with an opeuiu*. well, 
bucket of wjiter a ikI dipper: shaviuo: mug:, brush and razor for ZeV)eri;»li : lejxal 
document for Bctrkley ; legal doi-ument for I'a^jis; suitcase and note for Rose. 

ACT II. — (Curtains for door, telephone, sofa, book-case to turn o\^v, louple of 
chairs : carpt-t bag auil umbrella for Zeberiali ; a bunch of letters for N'iolet; 
revolver for Tasgfs; five-g^oug, horse etfe<'ts and f^hiss crash oflf stai:c. 

A('T III. — For roujrh room — roujih table and chuirs, cup, sau<-er, larg^,- knife, 
«'andlestiel< and enndle, and bottle on table. Well furnished room fancy 
screen, sideboard, decanter and gl;i.«?ses, pi<'ture to fa'.l, sofa, chairs; a bundle 
to rei»rescnt clean laundry and two revolver.s for TagrgTs : knife and baii with 
different kinds of jewelry for Joe ; knife and le<;al document for Richard ; light 
rope find money lor I^aae. 

ACT I\'. 'I'wo kit<*lien tables, six kitchen chairs, one large easy chair, churn 
and dasiier, eoulHininfj milk and small piece of butter, stove, rrving pan, coffee 
in pot, six plates, six cups and saui-ers, six knivess, forks and spoons, a wooden 
Itowl and ladle for butter, crock, loaf of bread, trick shelf contain ino' fluwer 
l)Ots and flowers, snow and wind effects, barrel, sleigrh bells. ci^;ii- box <-ontain- 
iny pi^te, lobiU'co and matches, tin cup, lijjhted lantern: Icjjal docuineni for 
Richard; hundcnfFs for constable ; locket and <'hain, hat V)ox with hat to <Tush. 
for Violei ; v;e\eral bundles, one containing black-piece of cloth, for Rose; 
Hostelers almanac and pitch fork for Baldy. 



>• 7 \i G K D fR EC Tl O NS. 

R.. means Rij^ht : i... \.<'.U: r. h.. Right Hand: i,. h., Left Hand; 
f., renter: s. k.. cM k. » Second Entrance; v. y... • jipr-r Enir;tnce; 
M. D., Middle Door: v.. the Flat; O.K., Door in KlaL • r. c. Riyht 
of Center: i,. c. Left of Center. 

«. K. c. c. L. c. \,. 

*»* Thftfead"'^!' K^t^vp-^ wi ta be upaia e stage facing the audience. 



H aunte d m i |hadow 



OK,— 



Hunted -:- Down 



A Drama in 4 Acts for 8 male and 2 female characterR, 
by Cjbo. B. Chase. Costumes modern, cliaracters excel- 
lent ; and amateurs can easily produce it 
S YAWP SIS. 

WHp^/;..fT'/^"^T^T®J'^'^"^«\^^^'^-^''«- ^»"«" '"^et, hereon, 
Will Warren, (alias Frank Hayes whom she has uot seen for years-.Nora 

i!.Vn K^ Warren-The 'Shadow"_Nora and Frauk-The -ghost." 

Lac arOran.^ebossom_Lost papers-Felix Bolton, the deteciive, on t e 
trail. 6cene ^ncZ-Caesar visits the offic of Ealph Monkslv-The dru^. Jd 
closed: ^"^ "" '''"' trap"-The quarrel-Dr. Radcliff-The bargain 
ACT II. Scene i^^— Judge Dean and the dectectire Bolton— Frank'? 
v,l a. n„v exposed to the Judge. Scene 2nd-Thi, lunatic asjlum-An answer 
tolheadvertisement-.'H-a-n-kHank F-i-u-n Finn-Hank Finn-HaTik 

Mrs. Warren's decMsiou-Abduction of No?a-The detectire^to the rescue 
l>eVltmul?'' '" '^' asylum-Escape of Nora-Death of Dr. R^ddiff- 

nf r5U^" T?''f lst~B^ruey OToole in possession-He discovers a pl»n 

of robbery-rhe dele -tive as a Dutch peddler-Frank and Ralph recoen "" 

n^iiK'J Tl 'r.^r '^'," '" trunk-Barnov releases him -Yhe rob^; 

TwoAuiitEmilys;or,Qiiits. 

A Farce in 1 Act, by Martie E. Tibbets, for 8^ female 
cliHracters. This is an excellent little farce, consistiuL^ of 
light comedy, easy acting, racy dialogue and a good moral 
SYXOFSIS. 
Quarrel between Dinah and Biddy. Aunt Erailj, whose monev th« 
pri. are trying to get. Mrs. Morton au-l the telegram D s mav o? Llln 
and Grace Dinah lays down the law. Onions and cavenne ne^lr 
Arrival of Belle Morton and her teacher, who is " .-icli" A^nt ^eTij 
B.lesjokeonAunt E.nily. The long unheard of sister found BeTl7s* 
joke on the g.rls discovered. The poor Aunt Emil;. secures a home 
Bille gets even and calls it "Quits." ^ v.v-uib" a aome. 



THE COMMERCIAL 

IIRUMMER. 



A Drama in 3 Acts, by Thorn Melross, for (. ^^'e and 
2 female characters. This piece is ""'^euso It ^^ P '"^^l 
f,-(.m the author's original manuscript, and has been pio- 
duced with great success by the Aiuericau iheatre Oo. 



Sl'i\'OPSIS. 



ACT! Home or th^ lr>lc llirhai-a Mallow. Interview Ijotweeii 

iK.n.o Mr. DiHllev's piopos.-il to Venia, and the mi.^imdu . '^"^ '''-^ 
i^l^;cvo{De^conFoL^ndFr.^^^cuso^ 'i l^e struggle, life 

""'ArTli" Zadio Vcrcla, and the tramp, "r.inted benches.'' 

,elT>.al W mTrry Dudley. Abduction ol' Verda, amljoe knocked 

'"'Xrr III Ashtovand Booth. Corn plasters; "■rUcrc's millions 
i,. tt,em '" Olie the Swede. Zadie, the Census taker. Iwo 

^:t''' ?^^:u;r-co;:f L-;-:^ oiie an,f .cru^je; res':;e'';,f 

z;;;;>. Sanations. Anow.v.;siono,-M.O,ut^^_A^.ov.^^^ 



;■'"'' Hot an cold boxes. Olie and Booth to tue res<M,c ol 
plasters no more. 



THE 

IntElli^EncG DfficE. 

An original Ethiopian Hketch in 1 Rc«ne f<.r 3 maJe char- 
*"S-as produced at Tony PasU.r's Opera Hou»e. 
This sketch is extremely ludicrous -costumes modern- 
time in representation 15 minutes. 



A NEW PLAY BY LIZZIE MAY ELWYN, AUTHOR OF DOT 
THE MINER'S DAUGHTER, ENTITLED 

JRaeheUhe Fire Waif j 

A Drama in 4 acJs, for 7 male and 4 femaU characters. 
Time of performanre, 2 hours. 



SYNOPSTS OF EVENTS. 

ACT r.— Nathan Ellsworth's home— Ray asleep— Alarm of firp— 
Ray and )rnsilla-"l am a Fire Waif "-The two papers- Renort of 
Ku,.Me Bnrleioh's death "-Aunt Sophy and Barney get uH? row 
-rabitha packs her valise-Elmer and Rav -Nathan and R«rn.^ 
arr.ve with Harvey JacKson, who has assumed the name of V.tZZ 
Rurleig^h, who has been rescued from the fire-Ornsilla reco-nizes 
h,m-The threat of murder-Barney sings -Swate Little Bu the? 

ACT II.— Storm-Sophy gives Nathan a piece of her mind— Parson 
Green receives a rou-h reception-Thunder and 11 -htn in..- Jackson 



M ttle story-The - plot t^ m n^l^r^Ehn;;^!^^;:^^';::^ ^Euli^.o 
Kurlei-h -Harney and Tabitha-Storm continues -Elmer start! for 
the L.jilUhot.se-Jackson and Ray-The wreck..l s^fp-^Ray j;^'. 
plores Jackson to go lo Elmer's rescuo. which i,e ro fuses- "Co ward 
I will save h,m"-Elmer, Ray and Eugene Burleigh-Eu^ene dis: 
gu.sed as Capt. Brown-Drusilia recognizes his voice-fabitha's 
oatn, 

ACT irr-The forged check-Drusilla again becomes a wanderer 
-Eugene discovers lier note to Ray-Abduction of Engene Burlei-h 
--Barney IS an eye witness-Jackson accuses Elmer of forging he 
check and helps h.m to escape-A lost Jetter-Tabitha Barnev 

win '^^"""^^"^•'"^-7'^^^.'^^T^ ^^"^ ^'^y about the check-''I neve- 
SniL^ 'n^ ^"" K«'lty"-A three month's promise-Nathan and 
Sophy-'lt's my opinion it's a put up job"-Barney^s pledge. 

RroP^?" ^.^r'n"?'^' ""' ^^'^ Tv'^^ of Jacl<son-The abuse-Jackson and 
Brock- I 11 he even vMth you"-"\our doom is sealed"-Nathan 
.Sophy and Elmer ,n search of Ray-The lost letter turns up 
which unravels the mystery of Drusilla-Eu-ene Burlei-h o-ives a 
history or the past, which clears Drnsilla ..f the crime of nTn rd^^r and 
reveals to Ray that Drusilla is her sisi..,- The explosion, ,n which 
Jackson is kUled-The house enveloped in liames-Firemea rescue 
tne parly, 

PRJ€E 25 CKNTS 



—THE 

MECHANIC'S 

REPRIEVE. 



A Drama in 3 acts, by John M. Murphy, for 8 male and 

J Jeinale characters. Time of playing 1 

hour and 50 minutes. 



PRICE 15 CENTS PER COPY.- 



SVJiOPSIS OF EVENTS. 

ACT r,— Coloiip.l Harrington informs his dau.iiliter Mjvry, of Lester 
Wilson's inteneled visit — Dan Trogan and ttie liorses— Joliii Rogers. 
Ibe mechanic — His proposal accepted by Mary — "H a boc'iv kiss a 
body" — Annie and Mary — E. Z. Walker, as a tramp, appears— Annie 
interested in the tramp — ^'"Me heart is brolve and me back is in the 
same \';ird." says Dan — Colonel gives his consent for Wilson to ad- 
dress Mary— Mary and Wilson, the proposal rejected — "He's nothing 
ijut a mechanic" — A plot to ruin John Flogers — ^J^he stolen money 
:Mid murder of Colonel Harrington— John accused of murder, by 
Wilson — Mary's faith in her lover — Arrest of Rogers. 

ACT n. — The tramp returns, meets Annie and Dan — Annie tells 
Walker of the murder and the conviction of Rogers — "He hangs to- 
day" —"I can and will save him" — Mary intercedes with the Governor 
for a reprieve— The reprieve granted— "A ride for a life" — Walker 
tells the Governor that he murdered Col. Harrington, in order to sa\'(^ 
Rogers — Arrest of Walker, when Louise, Wilson's wife arrives, and 
swears she saw Lester Wilson murder the Colonel — ^Wilson and Dan, 
the bribe rejected — Rogers in prison — ^Wilson visits Rogers — The 
insult — Arrival of Mary with the reprieve— "Saved, John saved." 

ACT HL — A lapse of one year — Home of John and Mary Rogers — 
Walker and Annie as lovers — News of Lester Wilson's escape from 
prison — Mary's forbodings — Lester AVilson's attempt to kill John 
Rogers, but is foiled by Louise — Dan arrests Lester — "Lester Wilson, 
you have wronged me deeply', but I forgive you" — "Come friends, 
let us go in, niglit's shadows are closing around us. Its gloomy 
shades are too suggestive of the past, and around tlie cheery fire- 
place I can see the faces of the friends, u hose love for me was my 
salvatiou, in the dark days before I was Reprieved. 



HOV 17 1909 

My ^wful ^Wife. 

Comedy in 4 acts, by Joseph H. Slater, for 8 male, {can double to 7 
male) and 3 female characters. Goatumea modern. A clever piece, clean, 
bright and inierentiny. Thrilling cl/maxes and comical situations. Char^ 
acters all have prominent parts. Not a dull moment in the entire piec§. 
Til/a of per/or ma nee. S hours and SO minutes. 



SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 

Home rtf Jasper J. Muddle— Cliarles jind Aila— "You bet she's coming', look 
out tor tbe locomotive" — An-ival of the "Awfnl Wife" wlio proceeds lo uiitUe 
thiiiiis lively — "Ever since I inari'ied your respected lujiiniiui, I liave ^iveu up 
tkiBkiug" — A uiessage from Phineas Dabl)iei-, who dabbles in science — Jasper 
J'tj soliloquy — Ueacou Spyder astoumled— "1 must inform Mrs. Muddle of the 
oufrayeous (^oudiict of lier husband" — "Oh, the depravity of hmnan nature" — 
bally and the Dcicou have words — "Verily, youn^; woman, you are a stumbling 
blo<k in the patli of the rig^hteous"— Mrs. Muddle on tlie war-path — Phinear^ 
Dabbler arrives lo spend hid vacation with Mr. and Mrs. Muddle, which leads 
to moie compiicatit)ns — Dabbler explains lo Jaspei- J. his Coni-enlrated Kssence 
of The Millc of H\iman Kindness, wiiich thev aj^ree to try on Mrs. Muddle— More 
family jafS — Sammy Dobbs, who applies for a situation, is hired by Jasper .1. 
and islired, immediately, by Mrs. Muddle, wlio dislilvcs iiis led hair— Sally, by 
mistake, mixes Dabbler's Infallil)le Erailicater and Capillary 'rransmo^ritier 
and \ises the wronji one on Samniv's red hair — " A ftei* tiiree doses his motlier 
won't know him" — Jasper J. p:ives liis wife an overdose of Dabbler's Milk of 
fjuman Kindness— DeacOQ Spyder overhears an important coitversatiou — "III 
have them arrested for murder" — A large order for ii-e— Sammy looses all his 
red hair— The Deacon speaks his miud— The lost antidote — jasper, who is 
thought to be insane, meets tlie doctor — Disastrous results — Mrs. Muddle re- 
turns to life to thwart her enemies — Deacon Spyder receives his just deserts 
— "Cmsheil afain and by nay 'Awful Wife'" — "It's a terrible thing to be a hen- 
pe«k«d husband." Price, 25otM * 

Old Phirs Birthday. 

A Serio Comic Drama in 2 acts, by J. P. Wooler, Esq., for 5 mft]» 

fcnd 2 female characters. Time of perfomance, 1 hour 

and 45 minutes. 



SYNOPSIS OF F VENTS 

Courtyard of Marddress and Co.— Blanche and Marion— Give and take— Phil 
tells llie story of his life— Lionel robs his father's safe — A confession to Frank 
wlio furnishes the money to hide his crime — A promise —Pli il in a passiou— The 
die is cast, hope is extingfuished — Fi-ank and Marion — A secret— "For all our 
sakes forego tliis journey to Loudon" — The robbery discovered — Tlie false key 
to the safe — Frank accused of theft — Phil's anguish — Lionel's regrets— Phil 
leaves his old home — An interview between Phil aiulfMr. Harddress — "Frank! 
I love you" — A confession to Phil by Grantly — Phil's plan— Sliielding the guilty 
one Lionel confesses and clears Frank's name — Happy ending to "Old Phil's 
Birthday." Pricje, 15ct8. 

Somebody's IN'obody. 

Farce In 1 act. by O. A. Maltby, for 3 male and 2 female characters. Dick, t« 
please a friend, takes the part of a high toned Englishman, and pays bta 
respects to the daughter of Mr. Bibltins, w ho is very much dLsgusted with him. 
Dick's endeavtJis to be "swell" and please, ai'e ludicrous in the extreme. AH 
characters have excellent speaking: parts. Easily arran^^ed. Time-af, per 
tormaiice. 3U minutes. , ^r^nv "^ "^i^ice, ISt't*. 






LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

015 793 037 •. 









